Template:Did you know nominations/Arlinda Locklear

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: promoted by Cwmhiraeth (talk) 06:48, 8 December 2017 (UTC)

Arlinda Locklear

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• ... that, while studying law at Duke University in the 1970s, Native American lawyer Arlinda Locklear defeated future U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry in a moot court competition?

• Reviewed: No QPQ, less than 5 DYK credits.

Created by Alanna the Brave (talk). Self-nominated at 19:53, 15 November 2017 (UTC).

• On it. — LlywelynII 02:00, 17 November 2017 (UTC)
  
  Timely nomination but listed on the wrong day: the article actually began on November 9. Not much copyvio but there is a sentence about her father's naval service that should be rewritten. Long enough (4.8k chars.) and fairly well cited, except for this hook and the other potential hook (being the first female NA litigator before the USSC). I'm sure that's just an oversight and covered by the references following those claims, but this is a biography of a living person and should have all of the stand-out claims cited directly.
  
  Side notes: there are a few comma mistakes in the article and the hook that aren't important for the nomination and that I already fixed but which Ms Brave should look over to help her future articles. Second, it's her choice, but the hook would be improved by removing the links to and descriptions of Duke and Sec. Kerry. The extra link will just drain readers away from the article being promoted, and removing the explanation will lure in other people who want to make sure it really was that John Kerry. Finally, it's a bit odd to call him the future US Secretary of State but to call her a lawyer: she wasn't one until after she finished law school. The wording should probably be worked with a little, possibly to include that she was the first female litigator before the Supreme Court. — LlywelynII 04:23, 17 November 2017 (UTC)
  • LlywelynII, the date of article creation is counted to when it was published to the main namespace, in this case 17:35, 11 November 2017‎ (UTC) (see point 1d under WP:DYKRULES). Also pinging Alanna the Brave, as she probably isn't watching this nom page. --Paul_012 (talk) 14:37, 27 November 2017 (UTC)
  • Hi LlywelynII -- I've directly cited those two main claims, and I tweaked the line about Locklear's father. Those are quite a few wording issues you've pointed out in the hook, and at this point I think it's probably simpler for me to just propose the shorter alternate hook (which is just as interesting!). Alanna the Brave (talk) 23:05, 28 November 2017 (UTC)

ALT1:... that Arlinda Locklear was the first Native American woman to argue a case before the U.S. Supreme Court?

• Cites resolved. G2G w/ALT1, if it's really preferable for the nominator, compared to tidying the phrasing and links in the original hook. — LlywelynII 08:05, 29 November 2017 (UTC)