Template:Did you know nominations/Alan Sisitsky

The following is an archived discussion of the DYK nomination of the article below. Please do not modify this page. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page (such as this nomination's talk page, the article's talk page or Wikipedia talk:Did you know), unless there is consensus to re-open the discussion at this page. No further edits should be made to this page.

The result was: rejected by  — Crisco 1492 (talk) 04:54, 15 July 2014 (UTC)
Withdrawn

Alan Sisitsky edit

Created by Hirolovesswords (talk). Self nominated at 01:08, 27 June 2014 (UTC).

  • The original hook is better than ALT1 which is basically telling us that a senator intended to try and repeal a statute with which he disagreed; nothing "hooky" in that. Belle (talk) 23:51, 28 June 2014 (UTC)
Note I redid the first hook and added a second alternate hook. The original hook stated that Sisitsky was expelled when he was actually named. --Hirolovesswords (talk) 21:41, 11 July 2014 (UTC)

I checked the source for the hook, and it looks like there is close paraphrasing here. For example, the original source says:

Sen. Daniel Foley (D-Worcester) said that since the court ruling yesterday provided no new evidence regarding Bulger's conduct, Sisitsy's [sic] motion to remove Bulger was out of order. Burger ruled that Foley was correct, prompting Sisitsky, without being given permission to speak by Bulger as is required under Senate rules, to jump to his feet and shout: "That is the worst ruling made in my 14 years here. It's outrageous." Sisitsky said he would move to vacate the chair every day, but Bulger ruled him out of order and warned him that Senate rules require assent from the president before a member may speak.

The article says:

Senator Daniel Foley said the Sisitsky's motion was out of order because there was no new evidence regarding Bulger's conduct. Bulger ruled that Foley was correct, which caused Sisitsky to shout "that is the worst ruling made in my 14 years here. It's outrageous" and state that he would move to remove Bulger every day. Bulger ruled Sisitsky out of order because he did not seek permission from the chair before speaking.

It's a bit close for me, and it continues throughout the paragraph. The article checks out on age, length, and the hook, but the close paraphrasing here and potentially throughout the article needs to be resolved. I really like this article and the hook, so I hope these issues can be resolved. Antony–22 (talkcontribs) 04:55, 13 July 2014 (UTC)

  • I'd rather withdraw this nomination than continue on. --Hirolovesswords (talk) 05:40, 13 July 2014 (UTC)
Sure, it's your decision, but I'd suggest that it would be better to fix it now and get the DYK than have to deal with it later. Antony–22 (talkcontribs) 23:08, 14 July 2014 (UTC)