Talk:Yogatattva Upanishad/GA1

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Nvvchar in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 04:44, 3 February 2016 (UTC)Reply


Helping with the GAN backlog. Why are such nice articles being made to wait? Will review. Sainsf <^>Talk all words 04:44, 3 February 2016 (UTC)Reply

  • My comments follow. - MSW

Lead

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  • Why is the name of this Upanishad in italics? I have not seen others in italics.
    • This matter was discussed in the WT:DYK and it was decided that the name of the article should be in italciis. Please see here [1].
  • Remove the Yoga Upanishad link if it is a redlink, instead you should explain a bit about it.
    • There is no article yet on this. Removed the redlink
  • Colebrooke and Narayana need links or identification
    • Will add soon
  • I moved this to main, as it felt undue in the lead, explanation on Narayana more so. Little is known about Narayana. He likely lived sometime between 14th- and 17th-century, we know his father's name, and that while South Asia was torn with invasions and a period of political instability, he was busy saving, compiling, studying and writing his views on the Upanishads (and some other texts). His collection of top 52 Upanishads have been useful, though there is evidence he apparently collected a much larger number of manuscripts. Identification of Narayana in the lead, given the sketchy information we have, will distract the focus of the lead from subject of the article. In the main, I added a link for Colebooke and a bit on Narayana with source. - MSW
  • As expounder of Vedanta philosophy, "As an/the (as is appropriate to the subject) expounder of the Vedanta..."
    • Added "an"
  • starting with the syllable Om Looking at its significance in Hinduism why not say "sacred Hindu syllable"?
    • Qualifying it could be controversial. However the linked aricle On states that.
  • @Nvvchar has linked it to Om
  • Add a word explaining "Atman".
    • Done
  • also called as Yogatattvopanishad (योगतत्त्वोपनिषत्) Should be in the first line of lead.
Shifted

Etymology

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  • No origin language for the word roots?
    • It is Sanskrit. Added now.
  • Who are Dasgupta and Deussen?
    • Done

Chronology and anthologies

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  • Some part is in italics by mistake.
    • Corrected
  • Link Upanishad at first mention in the main text
    • Done
  • Who are White and Whiteman?
    • Will come back on Whit. Joseph Hilary Michael Whiteman was emeritus associate professor of applied mathematics , in the University of Capetown, South Africa. Added now
  • Added, with source. - MSW
  • Is it Colebrook (here) or Colebrooke (lead)?
    • The same person
  • Link sloka
    • Added

Structure

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  • Link Telugu
    • Done

Content

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  • On Brahma’s request Vishnu explains that You have not introduced Brahma as a Hindu god
    • Done
  • Link shastras
    • Linked
  • Who are Aiyar and Lochtefeld ?
    • Will come back
  • Added, with sources. - MSW
  • Arambha, Ghata, Parichaya, and Nishpatti These are redlinked terms, so you can add English translations.
    • Done
  • The detailed procedure and the setting for these are described by the text "In" the text
  • Fixed. - MSW

List of duplinks:

  • Yoga and knowledge: Moksha, Brahman
    • Done
  • Asanas: Ghata
    • Done
  • Kundalini: paricaya, Brahmans, Vajroli, Amaroli
  • Fixed - MSW
  • Om meditation: Vedas, Agnis
  • Fixed - MSW
  • In Yogatattva text In "the" ...
    • Added
  • wherein the flame of lamp lights up within the pot of body Needs a bit of formatting. What is the lamp?
  • Fixed - MSW

Reception

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  • Is it Yoga text or Yogic text?
    • Chnaged to texts on Yoga
  • Duplinks: tantric, chakra
    • Removed
  • References:Why use bold in ref. no. 6?
    • It was an author link. Deleted now.
  • Suggestion : @Nvvchar: This is an excellent article that describes each facet of its topic in a beautiful language (not being flowery or biased). I even felt a subtle attraction to the topic because of your emotionless yet lively description. I suggest you take this to FAC, it will surely succeed. This must be one of your most excellent works here.
@Sainsf: Thank you for the detailed, specific comments. Very helpful. @Nvvchar: I am done with my edits. I also added who Ayyangar is, etc in the spirit of @Sainsf review, as I went line by line. Some sentences felt unclear, so I reworded them after checking the sources. Have another look, and if I missed something please fix, if I made it worse please revert. Ms Sarah Welch (talk) 21:56, 5 February 2016 (UTC)Reply
The article is in a very good shape now. I promote this to GA status. @Nvvchar: Sorry I do not frequent the Peer review page, let other eyes look at it as well. Sainsf <^>Talk all words 04:38, 6 February 2016 (UTC)Reply