Talk:Wonder Boy in Monster Land/GA1

GA Review

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I'll be reviewing the article over the next few days. Below you will find the standard GAN criteria, along with a list of issues I have found. As criteria pass, a or will be replaced with a . Below the criteria you'll see a list of issues I've found. Feel free to work on them at any time. I will notify you when I'm done checking over the article. At that time I'll allow the standard one week for fixes to be made.

Criteria

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Issues found

No disambigs or dead links, so the easy stuff is covered

• Refs #46, 50 and 50 - delink IGN
• With the image File:Wonder Boy in Monster Land arcade flyer.png, is "Upload arcade flyer, meant to replace the Sega Master System cover, File:WonderBoyCover.jpg" necessary now?
• The gameplay image needs a better caption per WP:CAPTION. Right now it's very basic.

Marked out completed issues, everything looks great. I'm still working over the prose as there's a lot to read, but thus far it all looks good too. --Teancum (talk) 16:08, 10 November 2010 (UTC)

Prose
LEAD

• "While the arcade version amassed moderate sales, the ZX Spectrum, Commodore 64, and Atari ST versions received mixed praise and criticism, while the Amiga version received mostly negative reception." - flows a bit strange due to the double "while". Can the second "while" be reworked? It's not a deal breaker, but I did have to read the sentence twice to understand it.

PLOT

• "The people, helpless not skilled in fighting, were defeated by the him and his minions; they quickly took over the land, and Wonder Land became known as "Monster Land"." - "The people, helpless not skilled in fighting" also flows strange. I think it's the "helpless not skilled" that gets me
• "The people sent out for Wonder Boy, who is now a teenager," - could be simplified to "The people send for Wonder Boy, now a teenager,". The verb tense leans towards present tense in the Plot section, so "send" works better.

GAMEPLAY

• "as he destroys the monsters in Monster Land and defeat the MEKA dragon." - "defeat" -> "defeats"
• "Whenever he sustains damage from enemies, shots, lava, or spikes, those hearts turn black." - can be simplified to "Whenever he sustains damage those hearts turn black."
• "In the Sega Master System version of the game, pressing another button" - define "another"
• "Other special items hidden in the game in which the player must find out and include letters" - remove "find out and"

DEVELOPMENT

• "Super Adventure Island for mobile phones on June 8, 2005, according to their website." - "according to their website." isn't necessary

RECEPTION

• "they lauded the game's graphics, challenging gameplay, and addictive gameplay, but they criticized it for its lack of originality" - is there a way to rework the gameplay as "challenging and addictive gameplay", rather than two parts?
• "The game was reviewed in 1989 in Dragon #144 by Hartley, Patricia" - should be "Patricia Hartley"
• They said the former "is not only playable, but the graphics - the space is before the quotation, instead of after it
• IGN heavily criticized the Amiga version 20 years after its release, saying how Wonder Boy was depicted as "a diaper-clad baby". -- unsourced
• Several direct quotes cite the review and not the reviewer
• Maff Evans (reference #9) - is "Maff" correct, or should it be "Matt"?

LEGACY

• Direct quotes cite the review and not the reviewer

I'm done reviewing now. Overall that was a fun read on a classic game. Great work! Once these issues are addressed this can pass.

Reviewer: Teancum (talk) 13:01, 10 November 2010 (UTC)

OK, I think I nailed all of them here. Note that "Lesser" was the last name in that Dragon reference, and I made a couple of different changes than above, as I think the wording sounded a little bit better in those instances. –MuZemike 17:15, 10 November 2010 (UTC)

Yep, looks good. PASS --Teancum (talk) 18:28, 10 November 2010 (UTC)