Talk:Winter in Sokcho

Latest comment: 2 years ago by Jsg4yMT

plot: In the first sentence : I believe rundown used in that sense is one word or possibly hyphenated. Also in the first paragraph, I would take out the word “uncomfortable” as it seems subjective. Second paragraph: what does "foreign apprehended" mean? It seems as if apprehended was supposed to be a different word. I would also avoid the word "awkward” in this paragraph.

Characters: The use of “Unnamed Narrator’s Mother: The narrator’s mother, who is also unnamed” seems redundant here. Possibly take unnamed out of her title or just start the sentence with “The narrator’s mother works at the fish…” and so on. Jun-Oh: I would change the word “self-centeredness” to something like vanity. I would also simply end the sentence after that word and make what comes after that comma. Old Park: I feel like you could delete the second sentence entirely or maybe just take out the “he is significant in that”

Themes: In the second sentence, add an “of” in between “periods” and “up”. I would also take out the “with the narrator” in the fourth sentence.

The Translations and Awards sections both look really good; it’s super clear that you guys worked hard. I think that there aren’t any glaring issues here, just small subjective changes for aesthetic and readability reasons if anything.

-Page Taft

General: awesome article! It's great you guys found so many reviews that gave actual analysis of the novel. That said, make sure all analysis or non-neutral description is from your sources. Also, I would suggest a spell and grammar proofread. As Page mentioned, there are some missing hyphens and some spelling mistakes. I think your sections were clear and distinct, with minimal repetition of information.

Lead: My only critique of your lead is that much of your article is devoted to the themes of the novel, and your description in the lead does not mention any of this. From what I understand, the lead should introduce the major sections and main ideas.

Plot: "little run down" feels off to me as far as the tone of Wikipedia articles. This sentence "Kerrand checking into the guesthouse is the start of their tense, uncomfortable, borderline romantic/sexual acquaintanceship" is 1) hard to read, 2) too many words, 3) your own analysis of the situation and therefore not neutral. Page already mentioned "apprehended" and advised against using "awkward." Same with "suffocating affection." I think "Unceremoniously" is unnecessary and adds a non-neutral tone. Is that last sentence really the end of the book? Even if it is, the way it is phrased and then left feels unfinished. Maybe indicate that this is the final scene etc.

Major characters: Here you have much more citations than the last section, which makes me assume that you have sources that give you this character analysis. If that is true, then good job. Make sure ALL analysis comes from sources and is cited. A citation makes all the difference for phrases like, "he is notoriously grumpy and generally unpleasant," which seems very biased but is ok if its from a source.

Themes: Only note here is that you already mentioned the narrator has bulimia. Maybe choose which section in which to state that info. I still think maybe you need more citations, just because of the highly analytical nature of this section. I assume everything comes from sources but make sure we know that.

Translations and Recognition: no comments

Again, great job! Mainly just watch the tone of your plot section and make sure your words don't project a feeling or opinion on the narrative. Cite everything and then the reader will trust you got said analysis from book reviews etc. And run a spell check. -Jael Jsg4yMT (talk) 16:17, 11 April 2022 (UTC)Reply