Talk:William of Blois (poet)/GA1
Latest comment: 3 years ago by Ealdgyth in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Amitchell125 (talk · contribs) 07:14, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
Happy to review this article.
- I've amended the sources slightly to remove Harvard error messages (I get them but you may not). Amitchell125 (talk) 08:08, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
Review edit
- Lead section / Infobox
Link abbot, monastery.- The lead could include a little more information.
The infobox needs the full version of the abbey’s name, as in the article.The phrase in southern Italy seems vague, I would name the relevant kingdom, region or town.I'm not sure why 'William' and not the name William of Blois is used in the infobox.
- Family and early life
I would introduce Blois as a city.- Are the names of Peter’s sisters (or anything else about them) known?
The phrase some nobility if not much wealth needs clarification.Could arriving shortly after be made more specific?- William was from the Loire Valley - this is not what Cotts says on p20.
- I have hunted on my shelves for a copy of Cotts. I cannot find it. If you would be so good as to amend whatever is incorrect and differs from Cotts, that'd be great. I'll keep looking - at this point, I'm so tired of unpacking that I'm about to burn all the unpacked boxes to spare myself the bother of trying to find space.... Ealdgyth (talk) 23:05, 8 March 2021 (UTC)
- Cotts is available (see below). Amitchell125 (talk) 15:57, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- Writing career
Link Latin, manuscripts, immured.- As no dates are mentioned before this section, could the previous section include any information about when he might have been born (the sources mention his brother's birth)?
- Nothing in Cotts either. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:57, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
Did Peter only write in Latin? If true, you could mention this without then needing to mention the language each individual work was written in.
- OK. Amitchell125 (talk) 15:59, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- The phrase at least seems redundant.
- Do the themes refer to Peter’s dramas or to all his works? It's not clear to me why you refer to them as being major.
- Latin Elegaic comedies links to a genre,but in the text it's not clear if the phrase is a genre or the name of something WofB wrote.
- I would mention at this stage what kind of work Flaura et Marcus was.
- Introduce Matthew of Vendôme
- the device of pretending to be a woman – I would emphasise it was a young man pretending to be a sister, as the source states.
- Are the locations of the manuscripts known? the Iurgia muscae et pulicis, surviving in one manuscript - see here and here for information about where I think the document is located.
- White refers to six complete manuscripts for Alda
- Alda (comedy) is red linked on the disambiguation page Alda. I would also make it a red link in the article. The articles Guglielmo di Blois and Alda (Guglielmo di Blois) in the Italian Wikipedia may be of use.
- A url for Alda (and the preface for it) can be found here - worth including?
- Clerical career
- Link Sicily (Kingdom of Sicily), bishopric, England (Kingdom of England)
- Is a candidate correct – he seems to have had a competitor.
- There is some confusion over the name of this abbey – the name was not what caused confusion, surely?
- In 1179/80 – could be misinterpreted by readers. Does it mean over the period of two years, or either one year or the other, or the end of 1179, etc.?
- The sentence containing ‘William received letters from his brother saying that William’ could be more eloquently phrased.
- This has since been disproven. Any information about when and by whom?
- William had not acquired his position in the best manner – seems euphemistically put. Cotts says William acquired his position illicitly.
- Margaret of Navarre – I would consider naming her as queen consort of the kingdom of Sicily, and not simply as the queen.
- but it is not known if he actually left – is this editorial speculation?
- Notes
- Consider links for French and Latin.
- References
- White’s article is from pp. 487–490; imo more information could be gleaned from the pages you haven’t cited.
- Link Urban T. Holmes Jr..
- Several urls are available for this section:
- Sedgewick - https://www.jstor.org/stable/2848746?seq=1
- Holmes & Weedon - https://www.jstor.org/stable/2849952?seq=1
- Carver - https://www.jstor.org/stable/43447768
- Cotts - https://www.google.co.uk/books/edition/The_Clerical_Dilemma/CaXAxbZPM6gC?hl=en&gbpv=1&printsec=frontcover
- Elliott - https://books.google.co.uk/books?id=G55RAQAAIAAJ&source=gbs_navlinks_s
- Bishop - https://www.jstor.org/stable/25096134
- Consider adding (subscription required) where appropriate.
- Elliott, not Elliot.
That's all I could find, please ping me to discuss anything arising from my comments. On hold for a week until 13 March to allow amendments to be made. Regards, Amitchell125 (talk) 13:35, 1 March 2021 (UTC)
@Amitchell125: Work has slammed me - it's going to be a few more days before I can finish this off. Sorry. Will that be okay? Ealdgyth (talk) 13:33, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Ealdgyth: Of course—I'm a little distracted myself with family, the growing season for my allotment, and work on Stanisław Egbert Koźmian. I'll check again in a week's time. Amitchell125 (talk) 13:40, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
- I'm jealous - our growning season hasn't even started yet - we're going to be getting snow Monday .. heh. Ealdgyth (talk) 13:43, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Ealdgyth: not a lot seems to be happening here, I'm failing the article in the next couple of days unless the issues identified are addressed. Amitchell125 (talk) 16:47, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- I'm just completely swamped in real life and will not have the time to go digging through tons of bookboxes trying to find one book. When I nominated this, I was not aware I was going to have some big projects outside of WP dropped on my lap, so I had the thought I'd have more time for this. Sorry. Ealdgyth (talk) 16:54, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Ealdgyth: not a lot seems to be happening here, I'm failing the article in the next couple of days unless the issues identified are addressed. Amitchell125 (talk) 16:47, 20 March 2021 (UTC)
- I'm jealous - our growning season hasn't even started yet - we're going to be getting snow Monday .. heh. Ealdgyth (talk) 13:43, 13 March 2021 (UTC)
- @Ealdgyth: Of course—I'm a little distracted myself with family, the growing season for my allotment, and work on Stanisław Egbert Koźmian. I'll check again in a week's time. Amitchell125 (talk) 13:40, 13 March 2021 (UTC)