Talk:Whitemore, Tasmania/GA1
Latest comment: 9 years ago by Peripitus in topic GA Review
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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:02, 5 February 2015 (UTC)
I'll take a look at this. comments soon. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 09:02, 5 February 2015 (UTC)
The town's land and surrounding rural was first granted to Richard Dry..- noun left out after rural (?)For a time the town had a nearby rail service but in the 21st century transport is by car or school bus. In the 21st century the town has a small largely Australian born, and aging, population.- I'd change the first sentence to state when the train service closed and leave out "but in the 21st century transport is by car or school bus". The second "In the 21st century" - present is implied by present tense-
Although the town had formed it did not become the population centre of Whitemoor- why not simply " However, it did not become the population centre of Whitemoor" (you've already just said what it is in the previous sentence) link Shell- try and move 1-2 sentence paras onto larger paras for flow
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and it was noted as somewhat of a retirement village.- --> " and it was described as somewhat of a retirement village." (better verb I think)
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change ref titles that are in all caps to title case (i.e. capitalised lower case)
Tasmanian Tiger not capitalised any more (the tiger bit anyway).
1. Well written?:
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2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:
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