Talk:We Don't Need to Whisper/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 01:04, 1 March 2014 (UTC)

I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman 01:04, 1 March 2014 (UTC)

Here are the issues I found:

• The quote in the lead is referenced later on, but it should be cited in both places since it's a direct quote.
• "DeLonge received calls from musicians of higher profiles offering to collaborate on music, but declined them" Would we be able to get examples? Just noting this in and of itself doesn't help much.
• "DeLonge studied World War II, which he considered the "last great war clearly a battle between good and evil." direct quote needs cite
• ""Do It for Me Now" originally lied in a beat created by DeLonge for Talib Kweli that turned it down." Not really sure what this means; reword.
• I'd like to see the awards moved into the reception section and cited. If it stays in its own section then it should be cited and fleshed out a bit, since there's little there as it is.

I'll put the article on hold and will pass it when fixed. Wizardman 15:44, 1 March 2014 (UTC)

Everything looks good now, so I'll pass the article as a GA. Wizardman 00:19, 2 March 2014 (UTC)

A few quick comments...

• "Equally inspired by personal crises and global events..." reads like a tabloid.
• "copies since." since when?
• "as well the genesis of the band, Start the Machine" genesis of the band? You mean their first album?
• "as the biggest pop punk act of the era" some claim, needs to be in quotes, or have more than just one journalist's opinion.
• "DeLonge rediscovered the epiphany developed during his traveling with Kerry during his isolation, and applied that to his new band's philosophy. " really? This is just pure self-aggrandisement.
• "embarked on a mission to assemble his band" not encyclopaedic.

Really, this is in just a two-minute glimpse at the article. Surprised this sort of stuff hasn't been picked up in the review. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:06, 12 March 2014 (UTC)