Talk:Warren Schrader/GA1
Latest comment: 2 years ago by Pickersgill-Cunliffe in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk · contribs) 16:20, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
Hi, I'll take this one. Feel free to query any of my comments or correct me!
Prelim edit
- No duplicated links
- Images look good
- References look good
- Infobox cited where necessary
Lead edit
- I doubt there's a particular link available for the Channel Front, but linking it partially to the English Channel might be helpful to some
Early life edit
- Link Wellington - would also suggest linking draper and clerk
Second World War edit
- Is his joining the RNZAF in the same month as his twentieth birthday coincidental or was this the first opportunity he would have had to join up?
- Can you expand on why training continued in Canada and perhaps what this specifically was?
- What exactly does "flying cover for the amphibious attack" mean in this instance? It sounds to me like he just flew above the landings and watched, which I don't expect was the case!
- Link Sicily
- Again, could you expand on what he was actually doing to "provide cover for Operation Husky"?
- "the squadron had upgraded to Mk. IX Spitfires" - what does this mean for Schrader? Faster, more manoeuvrable, etc?
- "conversion course on the Hawker Tempest" > "conversion course for the Hawker Tempest"
- "In March, and now a flight lieutenant" - is the date of promotion known? And for that matter what happened to flying officer?!
- Link flight lieutenant
- "to join No. 486 (NZ) Squadron" - I assume he's flying Tempests here but that could be clarified
- "Schrader shot down a series of enemy aircraft " - is this series of victories the 190s on 10, 15, 16, and 21 April? If so the majority of this "quick succession" is described in a different paragraph, and when reading it the first time I assumed the actions in the second paragraph of Europe were a different series of events to the "quick succession" of the first paragraph.
- Link Hopsten
- "He destroyed two more Fw 190s on 15 April, in one of the squadron's most successful engagements for several enemy aircraft were shot down that day during a single patrol." > "He destroyed two more Fw 190s on 15 April in one of the squadron's most successful engagements, with several enemy aircraft being shot down in a single patrol."
- "His command of No. 486 Squadron was made permanent the same day." - is this when he is promoted to squadron leader?
- "Two more Bf 109s were destroyed on 29 April over the Lauenburg bridgehead with another damaged" - are these his victories or those of his squadron? Could be made clearer despite the following sentence
- Link sortie
- Link Luneberg
- "he destroyed three aircraft on the ground" - out of pure interest, did one of these count as the "first enemy aircraft destroyed by a British fighter-jet" or did that have to be airborne?
- Number format; you have "11 enemy aircraft" but "two more destroyed", etc
- Might it be noted that he "flew only six operational flights in the jets", per the Otago Daily Times article?
- Link undercarriage
- Done.
- "Promoted to wing commander, Schrader was given command" - could you provide a more specific date?
- "given command of a wing" - you name his squadron commands so it would make sense if possible to name this wing too
Later life edit
- The Air New Zealand article states that the NAC-ANZ merger occurred in 1978, two years after Schrader's retirement, thus the merger information doesn't seem relevant to him
- "he retired from the NAC"
That's all I have for now, please ping me and comment as necessary. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 16:20, 13 July 2021 (UTC)
- Pickersgill-Cunliffe, thank you for the thorough review. I have made a number of edits here and responded above. Cheers, Zawed (talk) 09:53, 15 July 2021 (UTC)
- Having made a few minor tweaks to links and sentencing that I hope you'll have no issue with, I am happy to pass this article. Pickersgill-Cunliffe (talk) 14:44, 15 July 2021 (UTC)