Talk:Warlugulong

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Warlugulong/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Jezhotwells (talk) 20:31, 23 November 2010 (UTC)

I shall be reviewing this article against the Good Article criteria, following its nomination for Good Article status.

Disambiguations: one found and fixed.[1] Jezhotwells (talk) 20:36, 23 November 2010 (UTC)

Linkrot: none found. Jezhotwells (talk) 20:38, 23 November 2010 (UTC)

Checking against GA criteria

GA review (see here for criteria)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

   I wondered if the artcile would benefit from the use of {{Infobox painting}}? This is not a GA requirement.

   In the section The painting two successive sentences start with "While". It would be better to avoid this.

   ...it was auctioned by Sotheby's... Was this in London or New York? Or in Australia?

   Otherwise, prose is fine and meets MoS standards.

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

   Online sources check out and are reliable. I found no evidence of OR.

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

   One detail is missing. What medium is the painting in?

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

   One image used with a suitable rationale and caption.

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

   On hold for seven days for the issues above to be addressed. Jezhotwells (talk) 20:57, 23 November 2010 (UTC)

   Thanks for addressing these issues so quickly. I am happy to list this as a good article, congratulations! Jezhotwells (talk) 10:43, 24 November 2010 (UTC)

Possible sources

Notes on books checked for reference to the work.

• No reference in Hetti Perkins, One Sun One Moon. hamiltonstone (talk) 22:24, 18 March 2014 (UTC)
• No reference in Vivien Johnson, Papunya Painting: Out of the Desert. hamiltonstone (talk) 13:47, 7 April 2014 (UTC)
• No reference in Roger Benjamin, Icons of the Desert. hamiltonstone (talk) 13:52, 9 April 2014 (UTC)

My comments

The FAC closed before I could get to it, but here are my comments:

Lede

• "associated with Clifford Possum's country." Does this mean something other than Australia? If so, I would clarify.

• So much meaning is bound up in that word in Australia, and yet it is hard to pin down. I have changed its first occurrence to "localities about which Clifford Possum had traditional knowledge", which is barely adequate but the best concise summary I could think of.hamiltonstone (talk) 12:21, 15 May 2014 (UTC)

Background

• "Indigenous men". I gather this is the currently favoured term for those who when I first visited Australia in 1988 were commonly called "Aboriginals". I would suggest, however, for those others newly enlightened as to terminology, a pipe be provided. Yes, even though they can find out through the art article.

• Linked to Indigenous Australians. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:21, 15 May 2014 (UTC)

• "western desert" since it is not a proper noun, doesn't this cover a large part of half of Australia? (the half that isn't eastern?) Is there a more specific term that can be used?

• The difficulty here is that, though it is not a proper noun when referring to a geographic place, it has particular meaning in Indigenous Australia, and writing about Indigenous people. It refers to a cluster of tribal groups, also a cluster of related languages, and the quite wide region of central-western inland Australia from which they are drawn. The descriptor is frequently used in Indigenous arts contexts, because the men who started painting at Papunya did not come from one group, nor were they originally from Papunya, which was an artificial, 'white' settlement - rather, multiple groups from across the western desert areas were forced into Papunya. Thus it is both a place in the rather large area we know as the western desert, but is also a cultural identity associated with the Western Desert Cultural Bloc. I thought the best way to deal with all of that was simply to locate Papunya in the Western Desert, and wikilink both terms. I have now expanded it to read "...Papunya, located around 240 kilometres (150 mi) northwest of Alice Springs in Australia's Western Desert..." hamiltonstone (talk) 13:07, 15 May 2014 (UTC)

• "his ancestral country, linking images of sacred stories to geographic representation of his country" I remain somewhat in the dark as to what is meant by "country"

• Revised, and included a definition of what is meant by "country" in an Indigenous context. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:57, 15 May 2014 (UTC)

• " patterns, unified by strong background patterns" is there a synonym that might serve to avoid the repetition?

• motifs. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:21, 15 May 2014 (UTC)

"The painting"

• "300 kilometres" perhaps a footnote could be dropped to an English-system equivalent. Alternatively, the distance and direction could be left out of the quote and given to the reader as text, and then you can use a convert template.

• Done. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:46, 15 May 2014 (UTC)

• "a 1976 work of the same name" Is this the one you just mentioned in the Art Gallery of NSW? If so, you should tie it in better to your previous mention, as it is presented as if de novo here, the reader might think this is one of the other three in his series. Or perhaps it is. And given the footnote, I'm a bit confused on this issue. Is the smaller work discussed in the footnote one of the five in the series? That should be mentioned.

• Two issues there. On the first, I have made a simple tweak that I hope solves the problem, to "the work of the same name. On the second - is it one of the five works - I am actually not certain that I can answer that definitively using the sources, so I may have to leave it as it stands. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:21, 15 May 2014 (UTC)

• "Lungkata's tale is just the central motif" purely editor's judgment, but I'd drop the word "just"

• Done. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:21, 15 May 2014 (UTC)

• The statement of who Lungkata is, lacks citation. The rest of the paragraph is a description of the painting, and does not need to be cited. But that statement is not a description of the painting.

• Oops, i think a reference got left in place and the paragraph expanded after it - i have moved the cite to the end of the para to make clear it is the source for the whole passage. hamiltonstone (talk) 13:19, 15 May 2014 (UTC)

• "associated with country further south" further south than ... same issue with country.

• I'm working some more on the issue of "country". But I'm not sure what to do about your other query. What is meant is further south than the areas covered by the painting as described in the quote immediately preceding. I'm not sure what else it could refer to. I'm happy to change it, I'm just unsure where the ambiguity lies. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:46, 15 May 2014 (UTC)

• "Collection highlights" in the biblio, "highlights" is capped.

• Fixed. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:21, 15 May 2014 (UTC)

Sale history

• "When the Australian government subsequently introduced" subsequently to what? The last date mentioned is 2014.--Wehwalt (talk) 19:03, 14 May 2014 (UTC)

• Indeed. Changed. hamiltonstone (talk) 12:21, 15 May 2014 (UTC)

what is it

I read the description of what it's supposed to be and I just don't see it. To me this looks like molds growing on a sidewalk. 2600:8805:5800:F500:11E9:92ED:98AA:9605 (talk) 04:08, 27 November 2016 (UTC)

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