Talk:Vonnegut Hardware Company
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Tone
editThis article reads quite like an original narrative, "reading between the lines" and connecting snippets of tangential data to weave a new story. While everything in it may be true, it needs paring back, less reliance on primary sources (e.g. listing of directories) and a more formal, dispassionate tone without a shred of editorialism (did the employees really live "long, happy and fulfilling years" or is this an editorial embellishment and ultimately unverifiable?. I'd even go as far as to say this is written from a fan's point of view, giving undue coverage and excessive detail. --Animalparty! (talk) 05:12, 11 May 2021 (UTC)
Indianapolis
editThis article's starting section is all about the beginning of the city of Indianapolis, and then only has a few sentences relating back to the company. Either this section needs to be fully removed, or simply shortened. SouthofMidnight (talk) 01:45, 2 December 2023 (UTC)