Talk:Violeta Chamorro/GA1
Latest comment: 5 years ago by SusunW in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 19:16, 29 October 2015 (UTC)
I'll finish this soon JAGUAR 19:16, 29 October 2015 (UTC)
Initial comments edit
- "he was often jailed or in exile" - how about he was often jailed or exiled?
- Done SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
- SusunW But did the government exile him or he chose exile to escape persecution? Although it may be forceful, it is not the same the government ordering someone to leave the country in exile than choosing to go out of the country for whatever reason. Thinker78 (talk) 05:21, 11 October 2018 (UTC)
- Thinker78 not sure why this is embedded in the GA review from 2015, but my answer would be that the proper discussion for Pedro's exile is in his biography. I agree that it is pertinent to his story. However, the "why" is not really necessary to her article other than as a motivator for her constant movement from 1957 through the 1970s. To her, whether it was voluntary or not, it still resulted in her dividing her time between her children and husband in different locations. SusunW (talk) 13:11, 11 October 2018 (UTC)
- SusunW But did the government exile him or he chose exile to escape persecution? Although it may be forceful, it is not the same the government ordering someone to leave the country in exile than choosing to go out of the country for whatever reason. Thinker78 (talk) 05:21, 11 October 2018 (UTC)
- Done SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
- "however, when the Junta began moving" - I see that "junta" is uncapitalised throughout the article, should it be capitalised here?
- I would merge the final sentence of the lead into one of the paragraphs, as WP:LEAD recommends a maximum of four paragraphs for an article
- "Her family and was wealthy and conservative, and although she has often been claimed by reporters such as Richard Boudreaux of the The Los Angeles Times, Garrick Utley of NBC, Stephen Kinzer of The New York Times, Lee Hockstader of The Washington Post, and other papers to be part of the Nicaraguan aristocracy, in truth, her family had large landholdings and cattle and were more akin to the cattle barons of the western United States, than the "Nicaraguan Gloria Vanderbilt", she was sometimes styled as in the American press" - this is a very long sentence. I would try to split it at "... of the western United States" so it reads something like She was styled in the American press as the "Nicaraguan Gloria Vanderbilt" or something similar?
- Split it at what appeared to be a more natural break ... "Her family and was wealthy and conservative, and although she has often been claimed by reporters such as Richard Boudreaux of the The Los Angeles Times, Garrick Utley of NBC, Stephen Kinzer of The New York Times, Lee Hockstader of The Washington Post, and other papers to be part of the Nicaraguan aristocracy, in truth, her family had large landholdings and cattle. They were more akin to the cattle barons of the western United States, than the "Nicaraguan Gloria Vanderbilt", she was sometimes styled as in the American press." SusunW (talk) 19:50, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
- "In March, 1980," - no need for comma here
- "In addition, the CIA covertly paid close to $0.5 million" - why not $500,000?
- "UNO had been unable to agree on specifics, as its membership ranged from the far left to the far right, making their plan one of running against whatever the Sandinistas were for" - I don't know why these words are italicised if they aren't part of a quote?
- "The aid cut-off, subsequent freeze, and Helms' demands were put forward" - I didn't understand the first half of the sentence. Should it read The aid was cut-off and Helms' demands were put forward? Unless I'm misunderstanding something
- "As noted previously, The US assisted Nicaragua" - de-capitalise "the"
- "In fact, during her presidential campaign" - sounds a bit informal. Could be cut
References edit
On hold edit
Excellent article! She sounded like a very influential person and almost like a Central American Nelson Mandela. I could only find some minor prose issues, so once all of the above are clarified then this should be good to go. JAGUAR 19:03, 30 October 2015 (UTC)
LGBT edit
I really think that the LGBT community part, that is currently in the peace part, suits better into the gender part. - Melilac (talk) 16:22, 28 March 2017 (UTC)