Talk:Variabilichromis moorii

Hi, I'm part of a university course centered around improving wikipedia pages. I added the entire behavior section on this page, and plan to add more general information at a later date. Wenamy (talk) 02:09, 4 October 2013 (UTC)

• I have now added more to the introduction and created a taxonomy section and a Morphology and coloration section, as well as making a few other minor additions.Wenamy (talk) 06:57, 21 November 2013 (UTC)

Peer Review

• General: Check comma usage. Sometimes there are commas in places that don't need them, and other times, there are no commas where they are needed. Sometimes sentences tend to be a bit long. Try making some sentences more concise, or spilt them into multiple sentences. (example of both in breeding territories: V. moorii attack fry-eating...") There could be more links to other pages.
• Breeding territories: Phrasing on the first sentence seems off, but I can't identify exactly how. VAleles (talk) 01:09, 11 October 2013 (UTC)

General Comments/Edits: •I would add a link to social monogamy or genetic monogamy (under parasitic spawning) or explain the two terms for people who are not familiar with them and not understand the difference.

•Maybe explain a bit more on parasitic spawning in terms of how males achieve this or why, and also explain why males invest more when paternity is ensured for people not familiar with genetics and behavior

•i might move the lunar synchronicity in spawning section to become a subheader underneath "breeding" or parasitic spawning just for better organization

•maybe brief descriptions (along with links) to vocab would be helpful, such as conspecifics and heterospecifics just to help flow of article without making users click on other links Overall a very good contribution! MLiu19 (talk) 08:43, 10 October 2013 (UTC)

Specific changes: 1) "It reaches reaches a total length (TL) of 10.3 centimetres (4.1 in)." --> "It reaches a total length (TL) of 10.3 centimetres (4.1 in)." 2) "V. moorii shows social monogamy but not genetic monogamy. Breeding adults spawn synchronously in the population since they spawn according to the lunar cycle, which allows parasitic spawning by males other than the mated male." --> "V. moorii shows social but not genetic monogamy. Breeding adults spawn synchronously in the population since they do so according to the lunar cycle, which allows parasitic spawning by males other than the mated one." 3) "V. moorii are experimentally shown to be more aggressive toward black fish compared to yellow fish of the same general size and shape." --> "Experiments have shown that V. moorii are more aggressive toward black fish than to yellow fish of the same general size and shape."

Other suggestions: 1) The introduction might flow better if the name of the fish and the word “it” were more evenly distributed. As of now, the first and last sentences contain the name of the fish and all the ones in between contain the word “it.” 2) In the following sentence, the word “most” is used too often, and some of them can be substituted by a synonym: Unpaired territorial males or nonterritorial males most likely contribute the most to parasitic spawning since a mated territorial male must spend most of its time defending the nest. 3) The phrase “a total defended territory” in the first sentence under the sub-header “Breeding territories” is awkward and can be reworded.