Talk:Vanilla production in French Polynesia

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Vanilla production in French Polynesia/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Valereee (talk · contribs) 20:34, 15 August 2015 (UTC)

I'd like to start this review. @QatarStarsLeague:, is this a convenient time for you? valereee (talk) 20:34, 15 August 2015 (UTC)

Yes it is, let's do this. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 01:39, 17 August 2015 (UTC)

Okay, so it's stable with no copyvio issues, and I don't see anything that makes me think it's an obvious fail.valereee (talk) 13:53, 17 August 2015 (UTC)

Whoops, it just sprouted an orphan tag. Can you see what you can do about that while I start the review? valereee (talk) 13:55, 17 August 2015 (UTC)

Rate	Attribute	Review Comment
1. Well-written:
	1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct.	I've been going through and making a few minor language revisions, but this section: "Initially owned by French overseers, the local Tahitians learned the processes and became major producers of the crop, with families involved in its growth from "seed to pod." However, in the 20th century, the Chinese, who came initially as labor for the plantations, became involved in processing the crop and marketing vanilla in the international market, though some farms are owned by people of French origin." I can't interpret well enough to be able to make changes for clarity. What was initially owned by French overseers? Plantations or something? Or were the people owned as slaves? And what does 'some farms are owned by people of French origin' mean, exactly -- that some are still owned by the french but most are owned by locals or those of chinese descent?  Done Also this: "Initially, vanilla is planted next to small trees till its vines grow to some height and then cut down closer to the soil so that it spreads into many layers. It starts to flower when about three years old and the flowering period is from July to August; it is a labour-intensive process." This 'it is a labor-intensive process' seems nonsequitor -- it's planted, then cut down to ground level doesn't seem very labor intensive. And what is the small trees thing -- does it climb the trees? Are the trees cut down after the vanilla is established?  Done "Production, initially for export, reached a high of 200 tons in 1939.[3] But it decreased to about 125 tons (metric) priced at 24,600,000 francs CFP. However, exports increased to 300 tons till 1949." That middle one seems weird -- it's got money instead of a date. I'm wondering if it should be Production, initially for export, reached a high of 200 tons in 1939, decreased to about 125 tons in 194x because of (war?), then slowly increased to 300 tons per year by 1949.  Done "Emphasis was shifted to "shade house cultivation" with less labour required." Maybe a brief mention of why this required less labor?  Done "As of 2013, vanilla production (FAO records for 2013) in French Polynesia accounted to only about 0.07% of the total world production; it was 60 tons from an area of 7 hectares (17 acres) with an yield of 13 hectograms per ha,[9] comparative to the 3,500 tons yielded by plantations in Madagascar, and 3,400 tons yielded in Indonesia.[10]" Is this all Tahitian vanilla?  Done I see that you added (specifically Tahiti) but my question was actually whether all of these statistics refer to the production of "Tahitian vanilla" (as opposed to the production of vanilla in Tahiti.) That is, are Madagascar and Indonesia producing "Tahitian vanilla" or are they producing another kind? If they're producing another kind, are we comparing apples to oranges? "The island of Tahaa offers a tour that takes visitors to one of the older and more voluminous plantations, situated on Hurepiti Bay.[12]" The government offers this tour?  Done Great! I've got one other section I'm concerned about: "Exports gradually increased after the war to 300 tons by 1949, an annual yield total remaining constant until the 1980s.[1] Thereafter, there was a sharp decline with about four tons of export in 1985,"  Done So the concern: it says the annual yield is constant until the 80s, but then says there was a sharp decline to four tons in 1985, so it feels confusing to say until the 80s, when the 80s of course include 1985. It's perfectly clear on second read -- you say UNTIL the 80s -- but I was wondering if it would be accurate to say instead "through the 70s, with a sharp decline in the 80s; slightly fewer than (or more than, whichever is correct) four tons were exported in 1985" I tried to look this up myself but couldn't figure out how to easily access that particular source.  Done I'd also like to smooth the language for the next part of that same passage -- "as it became ineffective to produce vanilla due to international competition both in respect to production and returns; and long haul was involved in transporting processed vanilla from Tahiti to international markets. Nuclear tests conducted by France from the 1960s till 1985 also caused the decline of exports, as were exchange rates, state protectionism, plant pathology, varying global prices, and availability of cheaper varieties." Can we combine this into one phrase, maybe along the lines of "as international competition, the costs of transportation of processed vanilla, exchange rates, state protectionism, plant pathology, varying global economics, and availability of cheaper varieties all affected the economics of vanilla production in the area." Not sure how to work the nuclear testing into this paragraph, though -- it seems nonsequitur to say it also caused the decline when the tests were from 1960s until 1985 and the decline didn't happen until the 80s. Is it important to include, do you think?  Done Finally, the last paragraph: "The Centre d’Experimentation du Pacifique (CEP) planned to revive the economy. It was launched in 1962 to overcome the drawbacks faced by the vanilla industry. Emphasis was shifted to "shade house cultivation", with less-intensive labour required (due to the controlled indoor climate), and reduction in chemicals necessary for outdoor farming. Controlled growth resulted in an export record or 12 tons in 2010. In the present day, the production is largely locally utilized in view of Tahitian vanilla becoming a "status symbol of cultural identity and pride in Polynesia."[2] Promotional actions instituted by the government to act upon this pride and boost vanilla production are many; even a dessert served by an airline in the on-board meal is infused with Tahitian vanilla.[2]  Done Okay, so my concern about this one is that, from reading that source, it seems to be saying the CEP was created primarily to create jobs in the area, but this paragraph sounds like it was created to save the vanilla industry? The source seems to be saying that the CEP created OTHER stable jobs, and that the economy of FP underwent major changes because of all these good new jobs, which decreased dependence on agricultural jobs, including those in the vanilla-growing industry. Am I misstating that?  Done
	1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation.
2. Verifiable with no original research:
	2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline.	the faostat info I couldn't figure out, but that might be because there's a notation on the page that says the database is no longer being updated and that there's a new page to use. Huh. That seems to work for me, I can access that page just fine. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 03:00, 24 August 2015 (UTC) I've got a couple of screenshots that are showing what I'm seeing -- there literally doesn't seem to be any mention of vanilla whatsoever on the page that's taking me to. Not sure how to show you these screen shots -- I could email them to you? valereee (talk) 15:24, 24 August 2015 (UTC) I see the problem, the link is to the "lobby" of sorts for a database of stats. You have to click on Commodities by country, then French Polynesia, then Vanilla to see the graph that is to be cited. The problem is, I can't find a separate link for that graph. I only have a link for the lobby page. QatarStarsLeague (talk) 16:58, 24 August 2015 (UTC) Okay, found it, thanks! I tried to put that in as a comment on the source but failed miserably. I'm thinking maybe since it's there to find, it's fine. valereee (talk) 22:52, 24 August 2015 (UTC)
	2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose).
	2c. it contains no original research.	Not sure how the Tropicos source (ref#5) supports the assertion that "Mexican vanilla is used almost exclusively as the base of vanilla extract, due to higher vanillin levels" ? It takes me to a page of 'synonyms' for a certain kind of vanilla? You're right, bad source. Found a better one.  Done
3. Broad in its coverage:
	3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic.
	3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style).
	4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each.
	5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio:
	6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content.
	6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions.
	7. Overall assessment.

just the references left

I've gotten to everythign but the references -- will check those asap, but I wanted to let you know I'd be going out of town for the next couple of days, so depending on internet access I may not be able to complete this until the weekend. valereee (talk) 14:21, 19 August 2015 (UTC)

Back now...starting on the references. valereee (talk) 13:34, 22 August 2015 (UTC)