Talk:Ursula Franklin/GA1

GA Review

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I'll be reviewing this article. Thanks, Kensplanet^Talk_{Contributions} 15:11, 19 October 2008 (UTC)

REVIEW: 19 OCTOBER - 26 OCTOBER; ON HOLD: 26 OCTOBER - 2 NOVEMBER

Plenty of Time for improvements.

I'll be reviewing this article. Thanks, Kensplanet^Talk_{Contributions} 15:12, 19 October 2008 (UTC)

Check out the Good article criteria here:

(1). Well written:
1 (a). the prose is clear and the spelling and grammar are correct; and
1 (b). it complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, jargon, words to avoid, fiction, and list incorporation.

(2). Factually accurate and verifiable:
2 (a). it provides references to all sources of information, and at minimum contains a section dedicated to the attribution of those sources in accordance with the guide to layout;
2 (b). at minimum, it provides in-line citations from reliable sources for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons; and
2 (c). it contains no original research.

(3). Broad in its coverage:
3 (a). it addresses the main aspects of the topic; and
3 (b). it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail

(4). Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without bias.

(5). Stable: it does not change significantly from day-to-day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute.

(6). Illustrated, if possible, by images:
6 (a) images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content; and
6 (b). images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions

• LEAD
• Ursula Martius Franklin, CC, O.Ont, Ph.D., D.Sc., LL.D., FRSC, (born September 16, 1921 in Munich, Germany), is a Canadian metallurgist, research physicist, author and university educator.
  • September 16, 1921 need not be wikilinked as per the current MOS policies.
    
    • Thank you so much for your careful reading of my entry on Franklin. I appreciate all your efforts. Links have been removed. Bwark (talk) 13:37, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
• Franklin argues that there can be no peace without social justice because "justice and peace are indivisible".
  • Such things don't deserve the Lead.
    
    • I have removed this sentence. Bwark (talk) 14:47, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
• "As I see it, technology has built the house in which we all live," she writes, "so that today there is hardly any human activity that does not occur within this house."
  
  • Please move all quotes to the Main prose.
    • I have removed the quote about technology but not all quotes. My reading of MOS is that quotes are allowable in lead sections if they are relevant. Bwark (talk) 14:47, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
• For Franklin, technology is much more than machines, gadgets or electronic transmitters. It is a comprehensive system that includes methods, procedures, organization, "and most of all, a mindset." She distinguishes between holistic technologies used by craft workers or artisans and prescriptive ones associated with a division of labour in large-scale production. Holistic technologies allow artisans to control their own work processes from start to finish. Prescriptive technologies, on the other hand, organize work as a sequence of steps requiring supervision by bosses or managers. She argues that the dominance of prescriptive technologies in modern society discourages critical thinking and promotes "a culture of compliance."
  
  • Stop mentioning about Frankin's ideas. Instead, mention what we can infer about Franklin from her works.
    • I do not understand this criticism, especially the part about mentioning what we can infer about her ideas from her works. Most of the entry is about Franklin's ideas because she is known for being a scientist and a thinker. Bwark (talk) 14:47, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
      • I have added Franklin's book titles to the lead section. Perhaps that will help. I feel her ideas about technology are a major theme in this entry and therefore some mention of them should appear in the lead section for the sake of completeness. The MOS states: "The lead should be able to stand alone as a concise overview of the article. It should establish context, explain why the subject is interesting or notable, and summarize the most important points—including any notable controversies that may exist. The emphasis given to material in the lead should roughly reflect its importance to the topic according to reliable, published sources." Bwark (talk) 17:34, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
• Franklin advocates resistance to technological imperatives. She is a strong supporter of "citizen politics," a civic movement which cuts across traditional boundaries such as political party membership, class, age and religion. It focuses on practical solutions to common problems — everything from the absence of peace to local traffic congestion.[9] Citizen politics assumes that governing institutions are legitimate and necessary but need improvement "whether those in power like it or not." Franklin adds that citizen politics tries to defend communities against those intent on "turning the globe into one giant commercial resource base, while denying a decent and appropriate habitat to many of the world's citizens."
  
  • Again the same problem.
    • I have shortened this section but feel it is relevant to her life and work. MOS says lead sections should summarize important parts of the entry and should serve as complete summaries for people who may not read the rest of the entry. Bwark (talk) 14:47, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
      • After thinking more deeply about your criticisms, I have moved the paragraph about citizen politics to another section. In writing the Franklin entry, I was guided by my experience writing entries on Angus Lewis Macdonald and Harold Innis, both of which have lead sections outlining main ideas and both of which have been granted feature article status. Bwark (talk) 17:13, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
• Anyway the Lead is incomplete since you haven't mentioned anything about her career, early life. Awards and honours is nowhere to be seen. 2 paras are entirely dedicated to Franklin's ideas, her quotes. Please rewrite the Lead
  
  • I have rewritten the lead to include awards and honours. Her Companion of the Order of Canada, CC and her Order of Ontario, O. Ont are already listed, so I mentioned other important awards and that she has taught at the University of Toronto for more than 40 years, but I did not include anything on her early life as I have not been able to find any published material anywhere about it. Bwark (talk) 14:47, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

• Images
• I am a bit concerned about the Image Image:Ursula Franklin at book launch.jpg. The Summary mentions Photo taken by Martin Franklin at the 2006 launch of "The Ursula Franklin Reader" at Massey College, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. Martin and Ursula Franklin agree that this image is copyright-free. Permission granted to use this photo under the terms of the GNU Free Documentation License by Martin and Ursula Franklin on July 11, 2008. Can you give us a web link saying that the photo was released under the PD.
  
  • I am not sure what you mean by a web link. I have an e-mail from Dr. Franklin dated July 11, 2008 authorizing the use of this photo. I can send you a copy if you like. I feel this photo is essential to the entry. I worked hard to obtain the right to use it under GNU licensing. Bwark (talk) 15:19, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
    • Yes, it would be very kind of you if you send me a copy of the license on modkenneth@gmail.com
      • Confirmed that this image was released under GNU licensing by the 2 mails. Good work !!! Kensplanet^Talk_{Contributions} 07:59, 21 October 2008 (UTC)
• 3 Images Image:Liu Ding.jpg, Image:Singer sewing machine detail1.jpg, and Image:001instantthisbillboard.jpg are completely irrelevant. Her ideas can be expressed through the prose. You need not put Images of such common objects.
  
  • I respectfully disagree with these criticisms. I think the captions explain clearly how these images relate to Franklin's ideas. She devotes a number of pages for example, to explaining the prescriptive processes used in making a Chinese ding vessel. Why not include this image, especially as it gives readers' eyes a break from the text? As a university professor, I have found over the years that students will not read line after line of text unbroken by images, especially on the Web. I realize the images must be relevant to the entry and I respectfully submit that these ones are. Franklin specifically mentions the introduction of Singer sewing machines in her book The Real World of Technology. She often writes about the effects of common objects such as this. Bwark (talk) 15:19, 20 October 2008 (UTC)
    • Since the images are very much related with her ideas, it's OK to have it there. Kensplanet^Talk_{Contributions} 08:09, 21 October 2008 (UTC)
• Can you also mail me the license of Image:Ursula Franklin book cover.jpg on modkenneth@gmail.com because it says it's a free image. If the license is available online, you can post the link here. It's not a major problem since book covers can anyway be used under a non free license. Kensplanet^Talk_{Contributions} 08:05, 21 October 2008 (UTC)
  • Confirmed that this image was released under GNU licensing . Good work !!! Kensplanet^Talk_{Contributions} 13:28, 22 October 2008 (UTC)

• Career
  • I read this section 4 times. I couldn't find any mistakes. It is brilliantly written and already is of FA quality. Good work. Kensplanet^Talk_{Contributions} 17:36, 20 October 2008 (UTC)

• The Career Image mentions A U.S. nuclear weapons test in 1953. Franklin helped end such above-ground testing.. If Franklin has helped in ending such testings, then don't you think such a major thing should be specifically mentioned in the Lead. Kensplanet^Talk_{Contributions} 16:48, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

• Pacifism and conscience
• Thus, Canadians opposed to war are forced — through taxation — to pay for war preparations even though the country's constitution guarantees freedom of conscience.
  • Isn't this true for all nations. Any special reasons for mentioning only Canadians. Kensplanet^Talk_{Contributions} 16:48, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

• Globalization as warfare
• Finally, Franklin is a strong supporter of citizen politics a civic movement which focuses on practical solutions to common problems — everything from the absence of peace to homelessness and local traffic congestion
  • Comma required after citizen politics. Kensplanet^Talk_{Contributions} 16:56, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

• War, failure and 9/11
• The wikilink for 9/11 on Line 5 is September 11 attacks which has already been wikilinked 3 lines above. Better remove it to avoid overlinking. Kensplanet^Talk_{Contributions} 17:01, 24 October 2008 (UTC)

I hope you'll resove these minor issues. Rest all sources, external links checked. All look Good. Since this article satisfies Good article criteria, it will be promoted. Good Work. Hope to see this article at FAC soon. Thanks, Kensplanet^Talk_{Contributions} 16:30, 25 October 2008 (UTC)