Talk:Typhoon Kinna/GA1

Latest comment: 5 years ago by Yellow Evan in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricane Noah (talk · contribs) 01:10, 22 December 2018 (UTC)Reply


Discussion

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Lead

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  • Probably should have a link to the season article in the lead as well as in the MH.
  • Probably shouldn't say "Kinna strengthened into a tropical storm at 00:00 UTC on September 11." since it was not named prior to becoming a TS.
  • "The typhoon turned north in response to a trough and passed through Okinawa as a minimal typhoon." Typhoon should be replaced by 'system'.
    • Cyclone works better here so that's what I went with.
  • "Typhoon Kinna obtained peak intensity on September 13, but thereafter, Kinna accelerated north-northeastward toward Kyushu and maintained its intensity." would be better to have "[...], maintaining its intensity."
    • Considering I mention it struck at peak intensity in the next sentence, I just axed that bit altogether, and merged the two sentences. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • The first Kyushu should be linked and the second de-linked.
  • "There were 213 landslides and 9 bridges were washed out while 47 roads were damaged." could be rewritten as 'There were 213 landslides, 9 bridges washed out, and 47 roads were damaged.' the current iteration just doesn't seem right to me.
    • "9 bridges washed out" is missing a were and if I were to add a "were" along with your suggestion, I'd not be a fan of the parallel structure. But I moved the roads bit to the next sentence, so it should be better now. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • Probably should have a link to hectares and acres as some may not be familiar with it.
    • I've always considered them common terms that I don't link in articles. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • US dollar amount should be "$383 million (1991 USD)".

That should be it for the lead. NoahTalk 02:45, 22 December 2018 (UTC)Reply

Meteorological history

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  • Link to maximum sustained winds?
    • In the infobox and it's not something I consider urgent considering the notes. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)Reply
  • Link to mbar and inHg?
  • Link first mention of Kyushu and de-link the second.
  • Same thing here as in the lead... "[...], maintaining its intensity."
    • I just inserted an "as" instead and I actually like my new sentence. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)Reply

That should be it for the MH portion. NoahTalk 02:59, 22 December 2018 (UTC)Reply

Impact

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  • "The typhoon dropped heavy rainfall across much of the southern Japanese archipelago,[...]" Should be replaced with Typhoon Kinna as it is the first sentence.
  • "A peak rainfall total occurred of 338 mm (13.3 in) at Nanbu, including 330 mm (13 in) in a 24-hour time frame." Should be corrected to "A peak rainfall total of 338 mm (13.3 in) occurred at Nanbu, including 330 mm (13 in) in a 24-hour time frame.
  • "When the storm passed through southern Okinawa, a minimum surface pressure of 958 mbar (28.3 inHg) recorded at Kadena Air Base, [...]" Add 'was' before the word recorded.
  • Maebaru is misspelled (the non-linked one in P1)
  • "On Shikoku Island, roads were cut in 16 places in Tokushima Prefecture." would be better to simply say the roads were damaged.

Should be it. NoahTalk 03:31, 22 December 2018 (UTC)Reply

My writing was really choppy here. Thanks for the review though. YE Pacific Hurricane 15:41, 25 December 2018 (UTC)Reply