 | Typhoon Irma (1985) has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: May 24, 2017. (Reviewed version). |
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:Typhoon Irma (1985)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 03:44, 22 May 2017 (UTC)
Hello, YE. I am going to review this article tonight.--12george1 (talk) 03:44, 22 May 2017 (UTC)
- Can you be more specific about where the storm formed? After the opening sentence, you don't mention anywhere specific until the 7th sentence (which the storm wasn't that close to). Looks like it was near Guam?
- "It slowly developed, but lack of organization delayed classification as a tropical cyclone." - That's not really a contrast. In fact, that sounds like a reason why classification was delayed. Maybe: "It slowly developed, with insufficient organization delaying classification as a tropical cyclone."?
- "After passing northeast of the Philippines Typhoon Irma attained" - Comma after Philippines
- "40 homes were flooded 20 flights were cancelled" - Comma after flooded
- "Although Irma stayed offshore the Philippines, moisture associated with Irma inundated areas" ---> "Although Irma stayed offshore the Philippines, moisture associated with the storm inundated areas"
- "all combing to leave more than 240,000 stranded." - "combing"? Is that you, Mr. Trump? :P
- You have more impact for the Philippines ($16 million in damage) than Japan ($545 million in damage) in the lead section. Maybe add the number of homes destroyed or damaged nationally?
- The link for Ponape leads to a disambiguation page. It looks like you should Pohnpei instead (formerly known as Ponape)
- Some terms are linked more than once in the MH, like Guam, monsoon trough, barometric pressure, and subtropical ridge. There could be others
- The MH never mentions the 955 mbar minimum pressure
- "Offshore Bataan, eight fisherman were initially rendered" ---> "Offshore Bataan, eight fishermen were initially rendered"
- "Additionally, Mount Amagi recorded 18.0 in (457 mm) in a day," - millimeters first
- "A total of 1,475 mudslides occurred along Japan" ---> "A total of 1,475 mudslides occurred in Japan"
- "leaving 375,000 displaced,[14] 116,963 of which were" - 375,000 bottles of beer? :P Also, you don't use "of which" when talking about people. Say "of whom" instead
- "160 trains were delayed or cancelled, which resulted in 50,000 stranded." - Ditto. Also, replace "resulted in" with "left" or "rendered"
- "There, 400,000 were also stranded due to lack of train service." - Same
- "were suspended,[23] leaving 240,000 stranded." - Same
- "493 people sought refuge in shelter." - Too much space after the number. Also, "shelters", not "shelter"
- "A total of 811 dwellings were destroyed[19] and 10,000 homes were damaged.[26] A total of 12,691 houses were flooded." - These two sentences could be merged easily. I suggest: "A total of 811 dwellings were destroyed[19] and 10,000 homes were damaged, with 12,691 houses flooded."
- "a total of 31,617 ha (78,125 acres) of crops was damaged." ---> "a total of 31,617 ha (78,125 acres) of crops were damaged."
- In the references, it says "Association Press" for 4 references, but it should be "Associated Press"
There's some issues that need to be worked out, but I will pass the article if these are addressed in a timely manner, provided I don't find any other problems.--12george1 (talk) 03:44, 22 May 2017 (UTC)