Talk:Typhoon Hal (1985)

Latest comment: 6 years ago by Yellow Evan in topic Todo

GA Review edit

This review is transcluded from Talk:Typhoon Hal (1985)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: 12george1 (talk · contribs) 20:45, 24 June 2014 (UTC)Reply

Hello User:Yellow Evan, I am going to be reviewing this article. Hopefully you will be quick to address/fix my issues so I can pass this article! --12george1 (talk) 20:45, 24 June 2014 (UTC)Reply

  • "Typhoon Hal (also known as Typhoon Kuring)[1] was the strongest storm to affect southern China since 1983" - Since you wikilinked Hong Kong, Taiwan, and Philippines, why not link China too?
  • "It gradually became better organized, on June 20, the storm attained tropical storm." - Add the word "and" between the comma and "on".
  • "The storm weakened slightly on June 22, and Hal lost typhoon intensity two days later" ---> "The storm weakened slightly on June 22 and lost typhoon intensity two days later"
  • "Throughout Taiwan, flooding occurred." - No need to wikilink Taiwan again
  • "n all, about 13,000 families or 77,000 people were rendered " - Add commas or dashes at the beginning and end of this part "or 77,000 people"
  • "which extended from the International Dateline to the Malay Peninsula." - Apparently it is called the "International Date Line" now :P
  • "Meanwhile, Hal tracked west-northwest," ---> "Meanwhile, Hal tracked west-northwestward,"
  • "Meanwhile, the storm passed about 60 km (35 mi) north of Luzon." ---> "Around that time, the storm passed about 60 km (35 mi) north of Luzon."
    •   Done. 20:59, 24 June 2014 (UTC)
  • "the JMA lowered the intensity of Hal to 145 km/h (90 mph)." - Wait, how was the intensity lowered to 145 km/h (90 mph) if that was the storm's maximum sustained wind speed?
  • "A total of 5,242 families were evacuated,[11] including 50 in Baguio and 89 in Olongapo City.[9]" - I think this should be moved to after the first sentence in the first paragraph, because it deals with evacuations (which is normally associated with preparations).
  • "including all stock markets within Hong Kong." - Wikilink Hong Kong Stock Exchange
  • "The southern Fujian province was hardest hit, where over 100,000 were stranded.[19]" - 100,000 cats? :P
  • On reference #7, "United Press International" is misspelled
  • I am going to pass this article now and list it as a Good Article.--12george1 (talk) 21:06, 24 June 2014 (UTC)Reply

Todo edit

RW stuff I never added. YE Pacific Hurricane 19:53, 4 August 2017 (UTC)Reply