Talk:Tropical Storm Odile (2008)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: YE ^{Tropical Cyclone} 04:21, 2 June 2011 (UTC)

Here are my comments:

Lead

1. "Tropical Storm Odile was the tenth and a late season tropical storm that formed during the 2008 Pacific hurricane season." Better thesis

   "Tropical storm Odile was a tropical storm that affected Mexico in October 2008," something like that. YE ^{Tropical Cyclone}  Done

2. "From thereon, the low proceeded slowly south-southwestward before dissipating on October 13. " space between "there" and "on"

   I never knew that thereof was a word. You taught me something new! So, you do not have to fix this. YE ^{Tropical Cyclone}

MH

1. "A tropical wave emerged off the west coast of Africa on September 23, it tracked generally westward, and merged with a separate area of low pressure over the central Atlantic on September 26." wikilink Africa, and this the wave show any signs or organization? Done
2. "Emerging into the eastern Pacific, the southern end immediately showed signs of organization,[1] and impressive cloud patterns became notable." replaced "notable" with "present" and wlikilink eastern Pacific to Pacific Ocean. Done
3. Cut out a few extra details in the MH. Done

Preps/Impact

1. Delink Hurricane watch per WP:OVERLINKING
2. Any additional impact Done

That's it for this round. Good luck dressing these issues. YE ^{Tropical Cyclone} 04:21, 2 June 2011 (UTC)

Passed. Congrats. YE ^{Tropical Cyclone}

MH (20

Just chiming in, the MH is still pretty long. It shouldn't focus nearly as much as it currently does on the Atlantic portion. Tropical Storm Odile is only the TC that developed in the EPAC. Some genesis information is needed for context, but not 12 lines. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 19:32, 3 June 2011 (UTC)

Two sentences of info on the main leg of the wave's journey isn't excessive by any means. It's just as relevant to Odile as it would be an Atlantic TC. Juliancolton (talk) 22:06, 3 June 2011 (UTC)

I agree that the MH was too excessive, but I think it's a little better right now. YE ^{Tropical Cyclone}

Done removing excessive details. - HurricaneSpin Talk to me 01:08, 6 June 2011 (UTC)

Can someone else review this please? - HurricaneSpin Talk to me 04:20, 6 June 2011 (UTC)