Talk:Tropical Storm Flossie (2013)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: TheAustinMan (talk · contribs) 00:59, 3 January 2014 (UTC) Hello, TropicalAnalystwx13. I will be reviewing Tropical Storm Flossie (2013). TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 00:59, 3 January 2014 (UTC)

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Lead

• Check the alt text for the infobox image. 'Satellite imagery' → 'Satellite image'
  •  Done. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "Tracking westward across the Atlantic with little development, it tracked over Central America..." – Find a way to not use forms of 'track' close together.
  •  Done while you were doing the review. :) TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "In addition, numerous flash flood watches were issued in the fear of over a foot of precipitation." – Optional, but you really don't need that 'the'.
  • Removed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "...this also made it the first tropical cyclone to directly affect Hawaii in two decades." – What does that mean? Hurricane Flossie (2007) brought high waves and rain to the island.
  • Reworded. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "Gusty winds exceeded tropical storm threshold..." – SSHWS is based on maximum sustained winds, not gusts.
  • That doesn't change anything? TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "...many thousand locals were without power for a few days." – It's either 'several thousand' or 'many thousands of locals', not 'many thousand'
  • Changed to several thousand. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "...and several others because of vehicle accidents." – You sure? The article only mentions that accidents occurred, not accidents occurred and injured people. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 00:59, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
  • Good catch, removed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)

Meteorological history

• Try naming your references. It's good practice and can help eliminate a lot of byte-age.
  •  Don't see the point. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• Link 'satellite intensity estimates' to Dvorak technique
  •  Done. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "...intermittently on visible satellite imagery by early on July 27." – I think you meant infrared imagery.
  • Nah, I mean visible satellite imagery. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "...began to impede on the system's organization..." – You don't need 'on'
  • Removed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "...the forecast called for continued to weakening..." – Eh? Fix the sentence structure up.
  • Lol, removed the "to". TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "The low-level vortex became exposed to view..." – Who's view? You can always see the low-level vortex from a boat beneath the storm, right?
  • Don't ask me, the NHC uses the phrase. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)

Preparations and impact

• "...under a watch." ought to be spelled out as tropical storm watch
  •  Done. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "Along the Big Island, all courts and colleges were closed." – Just clarifying, but courts = justice courts?
  • The reference does not clarify. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "Upon becoming the first storm to directly hit the state in 20 years..." – The reference only anticipates a direct hit, so, it can't be used to cite that Flossie did. Direct hits have a special meaning in meteorology, so that counts, too.
  • The reference is for the 20 years part. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "...concentrated in Maui and Hawaii." – You should say 'Big Island' instead of Hawaii.
  • Changed. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "Damage from lightning across the state amounted to $24,000." – What's with the reference clutter after this sentence? You could've easily just done a search for lightning in Hawaii on (dates) and then the $24,000 total would show up. Besides, $24,000 shows up on all of the references already anyways; you can remove 3 of the 4 references there.
  • Removed three of the instances. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
• "Six accidents were reported..." – What accidents? TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 00:59, 3 January 2014 (UTC)
  • Vehicle accidents. TropicalAnalystwx13 (talk) 01:16, 3 January 2014 (UTC)