Talk:Tropical Storm Fern
Latest comment: 3 years ago by MarioJump83 in topic A-class review
![]() | Tropical Storm Fern has been listed as one of the Natural sciences good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: October 28, 2014. (Reviewed version). |
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- This review is transcluded from Talk:Tropical Storm Fern (1996)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 02:28, 1 October 2014 (UTC)
- " began to have deep convection" - "have" --> "produce"
- Switched.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "sheared by a shear line" - is redundant
- Removed.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "weakened back to a tropical storm" - since JMA is official, it was never officially a typhoon, therefore it couldn't weak back to a tropical storm
- Better?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "A cargo ship was abandoned after it was damaged by high winds." - was this on Yap? If so, you should mention that. If not, then the subsequent sentence should clarify it's Yap.
- Added a word.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "and JMA began tracking it at 0000 UTC" - you should add "as a tropical depression" here
- Done.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "westernly" - is not a word
- Not sure why spellcheck isn't highlighting this.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "The storm received the name Fern." - this is a short, dumpy sentence that I'm sure could be merged into the previous or subsequent one.
- Merged to previous sentence.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "Eighteen hours later" - when you start a new paragraph, you should always indicate what the date is
- Better?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "JMA continued to keep the same strength at that time." - same strength as what?
- Added the category.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "Fern reached its peak at 140 km/h (90 mph) north of Yap, according to JTWC" - why is this inconsistent with the infobox?
- ...I don't know. I'll check why later.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- @Hurricanehink: I gave up on trying to fix it. For the infobox, 150 km/h rounds up to 95 mph, not 90.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- Should I just hardcode this in?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "975 millibars" - convert to hPa
- Converted all pressures.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "On the next day, JTWC downgraded Fern back to tropical storm strength, with winds of 110 km/h (70 mph).[4] At the same time, the storm had weakened to 80 km/h (50 mph)" - how is this possible?
- Derp. Fixed.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- Why did the storm move the way it did?
- Added a bit more, not sure if enough though.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- What allowed Fern to strengthen initially?
- @Hurricanehink: The ATCR doesn't say anything about strengthening initially. It only says "Reaching peak intensity after turning northward is a common behavior in TCs in north-oriented patterns." Would that count?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- Yea, maybe mention something like that. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:16, 21 October 2014 (UTC)
- Done?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "Yap was directly hit by Fern on Christmas Day, and about $3 million (1996 USD) of damage was caused." - try rewriting in active voice
- Better?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "The island constantly received gusts around 93 km/h (58 mph)." - constantly? For how long? And why this very specific reading
- Fixed?—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- 'costing half of the damage" - use "accounting for" instead of "costing"
- Changed.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
- "On January 15, 1997, a state of emergency was declared for Yap by Acting President Jacob Nena" - this is false according to the ref, which says it happened on the 3rd
- Fixed.—CycloneIsaac (Talk)
That's it for now. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:28, 1 October 2014 (UTC)
- So far so good for the fixes. Lemme know when you're done with them. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 15:35, 3 October 2014 (UTC)
I just read the ATCR for myself. How come you didn't include that the storm was a twin with a storm in the SHEM? You should also say it formed from the monsoon trough. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 04:16, 21 October 2014 (UTC)
- I added it.—CycloneIsaac (Talk) 17:35, 21 October 2014 (UTC)
A-class review
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