Talk:Top Gear Rally

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Top Gear Rally/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 06:57, 8 March 2020 (UTC)

Shall review this article. MWright96 (talk) 06:57, 8 March 2020 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

General

• The placement of the references in the prose should be in numerical order in every instance
  • That should now be fixed

Lead

• Wikilink the first mention of the word suspension to Car suspension
  • Done
• "The game features a physics engine with functioning suspension" - with a functioning
  • Done

Gameplay

• The first mention of the word suspension should be linked to Car suspension and grip to Grip (auto racing)
  • Done
• "and choose either manual or automatic transmission." - either a manual
  • Done
• Wikilink manual to Manual transmission, automatic to Automatic transmission and time limit to Time limit (video gaming)
  • Done
• "These include exterior and interior" - an exterior and interior view
  • Done

Development and release

• "could develop a game for the then-recent Nintendo 64 console." - the words in bold are not needed
  • I suspect you mean "then-recent" is unnecessary? Removed
• "including a physics engine with functioning suspension" - with a functioning
  • Done
• "Although Boss did not have licenses to use car brands, the cars featured in the game were modeled after real vehicles" - repetition of the word "car(s)"
  • Replaced "car brands" with "automobile manufacturing brands"
• "such as Ford Escort, Toyota Celica, Toyota Supra, and Porsche 911" - the Ford Escort, the Toyota Celica, the Toyota Supra, and the Porsche 911.
  • Done
• Also, by watching gameplay footage, should not Ford Escort be linked to Ford Escort (Europe)
  • You are right. Although sources don't specify the model and generation, I'm pretty sure the one featured in the game is the Ford Escort RS Cosworth, so I'll just wikilink to Ford Escort (Europe).
• "The game was presented at the Electronic Entertainment Expo in Atlanta in June 1997, where attendees could play a demo of the game." - repetition of the word "game"
  • That should now be fixed
• "It also includes a new intro sequence" - how about title sequence instead?
  • Agreed.
• "such as the F150 and Mitsubishi Pajero." - the Mitsubishi Pajero.
  • Done

Reception

• "sating that the game" - typo; should be stating
  • Done
• "and repeats textures very often." - more formal; frequently
  • Done
• "including an instance of two cars melting into each other" - maybe reworded this portion of text somewhat because I feel those who do not play video games will not understand what is meant here
  • Replaced "melting into each other" with "overlapping"
• "and the fact that cars can get stuck on slanted roadsides" - try to avoid repetition of the word car(s) in the same sentence
  • That should now be fixed
• "The tracks length" - track's or The length of the tracks
  • Fixed
• "to see their surroundings" - how about observe instead for a more formal writing style?
  • Agreed

Overall the main issues concern how some of the prose is written and the lack of some wikilinks that would help the non-video gamer. On hold. MWright96 (talk) 08:26, 8 March 2020 (UTC)

Thank you for your review, really appreciated. I think I have fixed all the issues and left some coments above. Please let me know if there is anything else that needs to be fixed. --Niwi3 (talk) 11:57, 8 March 2020 (UTC)

@Niwi3: All the changes made are satisfactory. Now promoting to GA class. MWright96 (talk) 13:28, 8 March 2020 (UTC)