Talk:Tom Acker/GA1

Latest comment: 2 years ago by MWright96 in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 11:49, 2 July 2021 (UTC)Reply

Am reviewing for the July 2021 GAN Backlog Drive MWright96 (talk) 11:49, 2 July 2021 (UTC)Reply

  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  

Lead edit

  • "Thomas James Acker (March 7, 1930 – January 4, 2021) was an American baseball pitcher who played four seasons in Major League Baseball (MLB). He played his entire career for the Cincinnati Reds from 1956 to 1959." - how about merging these two sentences together so it reads Thomas James Acker (March 7, 1930 – January 4, 2021) was an American baseball pitcher who played his entire career for the Cincinnati Reds in four seasons of Major League Baseball (MLB) from 1956 to 1959.
  • How about wikilinking the term draft for non-sports readers only on the first mention?
  • I linked in the second mention in the lead, because the first was right after the linked Buffalo Bisons and I want to avoid MOS:SEAOFBLUE. Hope that's alright. —Bloom6132 (talk) 17:19, 2 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • Cincinnati Reds does not need be wikilinked twice in the lead
  • "He played his last game on September 20, 1959. He subsequently worked at the Meadowlands Racetrack from its opening in 1976 until 1992." - simiar issue to the first point in this section

Early life edit

  • Wikilink amateur free agent to the relevant article for non-sports reade

Minor leagues edit

  • "and 213 strikeouts over 201 innings" - innings can be wikilinked
  • I linked that back in the "Early life" section ("102 strikeouts in 63 innings pitched". Should I link it in this section too, or will that be MOS:DUPLINK? —Bloom6132 (talk) 17:19, 2 July 2021 (UTC)Reply

Cincinnati Reds (1956–1959) edit

  • "and striking out three (including Gene Baker, Acker's first batter faced)[2] over 2 innings in a 12–1 loss to the Chicago Cubs." - try to avoid having a reference positioned like this
  • Fixed – moved to the end of the sentence. —Bloom6132 (talk) 17:19, 2 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
  • "The Athletics assigned him to Richmond Virginians," - to the

Post-playing career edit

  • "After retiring from baseball, Acker went back home to Bergen County, New Jersey. He constructed a house in Wyckoff and was employed by a trucking company." - how about merging these two sentences together
  • "After retiring from baseball, Acker went back home" - returned to be more concise

Personal life edit

  • "Acker died on January 4, 2021, at his home in Narvon, Pennsylvania." - sentence is a little close to the source verifying it
  • I've changed "home" to "house" and moved his age to the beginning of the sentence. Hope the rest is covered by WP:LIMITED, because I cannot use "passed away" due to MOS:EUPHEMISM. —Bloom6132 (talk) 17:30, 2 July 2021 (UTC)Reply

Am putting the review on hold to allow the nominator to address or query the points raised above MWright96 (talk) 15:46, 2 July 2021 (UTC)Reply

@MWright96: thanks very much for the review! I hope I've addressed your comments satisfactorily. —Bloom6132 (talk) 17:30, 2 July 2021 (UTC)Reply
@Bloom6132: Now promoting to GA class MWright96 (talk) 18:42, 2 July 2021 (UTC)Reply