Talk:Tillinghast L'Hommedieu Huston/GA1
Latest comment: 2 years ago by Muboshgu in topic GA Review
GA Review edit
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Reviewer: Kncny11 (talk · contribs) 16:34, 2 July 2021 (UTC)
Hello! I'll be reviewing this article as part of the July 2021 good article nominations backlog drive! Any section that I've marked with a Working tag means that I haven't finished leaving comments there, but you're free to begin making changes as soon as you see them! Kncny11 (shoot) 16:34, 2 July 2021 (UTC)
Good Article review progress box
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Infobox and lede edit
- The nickname is not sourced or explained in the body
Early life edit
- Add a "the" before Chesapeake and Ohio Railway
- Add some phrase like "to serve" after "engineers with expertise", to make it clear that they'd be in the war effort (as opposed to, say, the Rosie the Riveter types on the home front)
- "Huston was commissioned as a captain. Huston was..." → "Huston was commissioned as a captain, and was"
- Is the $10 million contract in USD?
New York Yankees edit
- Pipe "exhibitions" to exhibition game
- "and other team owners adopted the strategy." → "a strategy later adopted by other team owners"
- Comma after "He served in France"
- "... as the Yankees' next manager. Huston was ..." → "... as the Yankees' next manager, and was ..."
- "Huston returned to the United States after spending 17 months overseas in January 1919." → "Huston returned to the United States in January 1919, after spending 17 months overseas."
- WL first instance of Red Sox
- "though they ultimately relented"
- I do feel that this section would benefit from 2 or 3 subheads to break up the length
Later life edit
- Three sentences in a row in the first paragraph begin with the word "He". If one or two can be rephrased so as not to do that, it'd break up the para a little better
Personal life edit
- When did he come to direct the VFW National Home, and when did he serve as president of the chamber of commerce?
- Good questions. Regarding the VFW National Home, money from the gate receipts of the 1922 World Series was donated to the VFW through Huston's influence, and that money was used to start the VFW National Home. I've added that to the article. When did he direct the National Home? I'm not sure.
- As for when he was president of the Brunswick chamber of commerce, I do not know exactly. It would seem to be in the mid-1930s. – Muboshgu (talk) 21:47, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
References edit
- All reliable sources
- Please add a location to "Time Union" in [4] – I believe it's the Albany one, but there are several papers called "Times Union" or "Times-Union"
- It was the Brooklyn Times-Union, actually. – Muboshgu (talk) 20:42, 5 July 2021 (UTC)
- I am curious why The New York Times is the only journal to be linked in the references section
General comments edit
- The images are all PD or CC, and make sense within the context of the article
- That being said, they are all quite large, with some awkward sandwiching in the one under the "Early life" head, so if they could be shrunken, that would be fantastic
- No evidence of edit warring, only one primary contributor
- Earwig score looks fantastic at 8.3%
Mostly very quick prose things. Putting on hold for now, and let me know if you have any questions. Kncny11 (shoot) 20:10, 2 July 2021 (UTC)