Talk:The Queen's Messenger/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: MWright96 (talk · contribs) 13:11, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

Going to be reviewing this article as part of the GAN Backlog Drive of April to May 2020. MWright96 (talk) 13:11, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

Lead

• Think the lead can be expanded to briefly mention the station that broadcast the drama and the date it was shown

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:35, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "These were received by 3 inch televisions" - the convert template would be better off being used on the text highlighted in bold

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:35, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

Background

• "The cameras picked up the stage action and microphones picked up the sound." - repetition of the phrase "picked up"

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "The television signal was received at several points throughout New York City. The broadcast received much publicity." - think these two sentences can be made into one

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "The teleplay starred retired star actress Izetta Jewell." - the word "star" isn't needed

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "It was noted that in the television receivers she appeared trimmer than in real life" - noted by whom?

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "A newspaper article of the time pointed out that even the heavy set opera singer" - observed

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• " A newspaper article of the time" - May as well mentioned what newspaper we're talking about

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "appearing as a John Bull type Englishman." - John Bull-type

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 19:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

Plot

• "A British diplomat has a romantic encounter with a mysterious woman. She is secretly trying to obtain the documents he is carrying." - these two sentences could be better off merged into one

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:18, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "She is secretly trying to obtain the documents he is carrying." - what are the documents in the drama?

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:18, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

Television receivers

• "The televised play was received on televisions that were octagonally shaped. The television set was about fourteen inches high and ten inches in depth." - how about making this into a single sentence and shortened accordingly

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:33, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• Also the mentions of inches can also be converted into the appropriate measurement with the convert template

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:33, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "Six televisions were set up around the W G Y studios" - WGY without the spaces

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:33, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "Six televisions were set up around the W G Y studios for the newspaper reporters that were connected by closed circuit television." - how about Six televisions were set up around the WGY studios and connected by closed circuit television for newspaper journalists. or a similar minor change?

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:33, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "There were television receivers set up in the transmitting control rooms that received the signal from the air that was transmitted several miles away."- broadcast

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:33, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

Special effects

• "on a three inch television screen display." - "display" isn't needed I believe

•  Done--Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:37, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "The director of these props that coordinated everything was Mortimer Steward." - and stage coordinator?

•  Done--Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:37, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

Drawbacks

• Wikilink General Electric

 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:46, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "that developed into the soap opera.[8][15][7]" - refs in numerical order please

 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:46, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• Wikilink scanning drive to the relevant article

 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:46, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• "that picked up the image on the stage." - received

 Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 20:46, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

References

• Reference 1 should include Associated Press as the agency that provided the story to The Wilkes-Barre Record

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:05, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• Reference 5 should include International News Service as the agency that provided the story to Journal Gazette

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:05, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• References 3 and 9 look like they are the same story but in different newspapers. Please only use one copy

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:05, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• Reference 15 should mention that International News Service was the agency that provided the story to The Daily Republican

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:05, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

• Also Refs 5 and 15 also appear to carry the exact same story from the INS agency. Only one should be used

•  Done --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:05, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

Will put the review on hold to allow the nominator to address/query the points raised above. MWright96 (talk) 14:52, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

@MWright96: All issues have been addressed. Can you take another look. Thanks. --Doug Coldwell (talk) 21:05, 21 May 2020 (UTC)

@Doug Coldwell: Now promoting to GA class. I've made a few changes to the article. MWright96 (talk) 08:33, 22 May 2020 (UTC)