Talk:The May Pamphlet/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Eddie891 (talk · contribs) 00:02, 15 April 2020 (UTC)

I'll take this on.

Comments

• surely we could get some sort of image in, even if it's just the cover of Drawing the line which is supposedly in PD? Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 00:03, 15 April 2020 (UTC)

  I had considered the options here and decided against it. The subject is the pamphlet, not the books in which it appears, so the cover would just be decorative, not instructive. I considered using the title page of the pamphlet when first published (see full text link at the bottom of the article) but it's just three words as a title page—nothing worth illustrating. czar 04:18, 15 April 2020 (UTC)

• that's fine

• suggest linking anarchist on first mention, because it's a central theme of the article.
• maybe link libertarian as well

  Is the existing parenthetical next to this term not sufficient? I thought that was the best compromise for its usage. czar 04:18, 15 April 2020 (UTC)

• yeah that's fine

• "would recur throughout his later body of work" -> "recur throughout his later body of work" would here is redundant, no?
• link social criticism
• " Goodman's 1960 Growing Up Absurd" -> " Goodman's 1960 book Growing Up Absurd"
• "republication in Drawing the Line" maybe a date for publication?
• "In the 1940s, Paul Goodman began to publicly identify his political beliefs. " maybe some context (i.e. why does it matter that he's expressing his views now, who is he, what were his political beliefs?)
• "He would subsequently become the best-known contemporary literary anarchist" -> "He became the best-known contemporary literary anarchist by date" or "he would become the best-known..." or "he subsequently became the best-known..." the two qualifiers aren't needed

  I think this answers the previous bullet, hence the "subsequently"? czar 04:18, 15 April 2020 (UTC)

• sure

• "in Art and Social Nature (1946)" presumably in the book...?
• link the sense of Co-option you refer to?

  Isn't this an everyday word? I wouldn't think the reader would interpret this use as "choosing/electing as a member", no? Appreciate the review thus far! czar 04:18, 15 April 2020 (UTC)

• Yeah, the umlauts confused me... fine as is

• "beyond which a libertarian would act in resistance" maybe I'm missing something, but perhaps add what the resistance would be to?

  Either the "coercive restrictions" of the prior sentence or the "societal norms" of the paragraph's last sentence, but the source doesn't name specifics here czar 00:48, 16 April 2020 (UTC)

• "Goodman would embody this stance by living a free" as in he said he would embody the stance in the book, or in his later life, he actually did embody the stance? If it's the latter, maybe say "Goodman embodied this stance"?
• " sanguine march of industrial progress in the coercive name of higher quality of lifestyle" that's a mouthful! Is there a way you could put it into simpler terms?
• link direct democracy?
• link psychoanalysis?
• "Half of its essays were previously published in the small libertarian journals Politics, Why?, and Retort " -> "Half of its essays were previously published in the small libertarian journals Politics, Why?, or Retort" or something similar because they weren't all published in all the journals? As it reads now, I get the impression that half of the essays were published in all three journals
• Who is "Stefan Blankertz"?
• "The May Pamphlet was Goodman's most significant contribution to anarchist theory" maybe mention this in the lede as well
• " individual change before millenarian" maybe it's my lack of knowledge on the topic, but I'm not familiar with what millenarian means, and I think many lay-readers won't be as well. Is there somewhere you could link?
• Very nice article overall, largely accessible, just a few things tripped me up as a reader unfamiliar with the topic. I'll check sources later today... Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 15:10, 15 April 2020 (UTC)

  Thanks! I've addressed the above either in prose or comments. And let me know if you need any passages from the sources for verification. czar 00:48, 16 April 2020 (UTC)

  Czar, thanks for responding! I've checked a few of the sources, and am prepared to AGF on the others Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 13:16, 16 April 2020 (UTC)

  This article is well written, comprehensive adequately sourced, doesn't contain copyvio, and as such, I'm happy to promote. Eddie891 ^Talk _Work 13:21, 16 April 2020 (UTC)