Talk:The Man from Jupiter/GA1

Latest comment: 12 years ago by Gen. Quon in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 23:45, 31 March 2012 (UTC)Reply

Issues:

  • Intro: I would link third season in the opening line
    •   Done
  • Plot: You can probably remove why Archer fails to get a date near the beginning
    •   Done
  • Plot: "A man nearby laughs at Archer's incident and when Sterling threatens him, resulting in the man easily subduing him, Sterling realizes that the man is his idol, Burt Reynolds." Run-on and poorly worded. Rewrite to: "A man nearby laughs at Archer's incident. When Sterling threatens him, the man easily subdues him. Sterling suddenly realizes that the man is his idol, Burt Reynolds."
    •   Done
  • Plot: "Once reaching there..." Change to "Once there"
    •   Done
  • Plot: "This seens to sway" Change to "This seems to sway"
    •   Done
  • Plot: "Burt has been able to catch up to the ISIS agents and the Cubans, being able to dispatch the Cubans easily and save the ISIS agents." Change to "Burt has been able to catch up to the ISIS agents and the Cubans and saves the ISIS agents."
    •   Done
  • Production: Considering its mentioned in the intro, what kind of changes did Burt Reynolds make to the script?
    •   Done
  • Production: "While editing the script of the episode, Reynolds adds a scene" Change 'adds' to 'added'
    •   Done
  • Critical Response: "...great moments, and felt that..." Remove comma after 'moments', as the two are not independent clauses
    •   Done

OK, those are the only issues. On hold for seven days.--Gen. Quon (talk) 00:01, 1 April 2012 (UTC)Reply

Should be all good now. :) —DAP388 (talk) 18:56, 2 April 2012 (UTC)
Excellent, I pass!--Gen. Quon (talk) 20:30, 2 April 2012 (UTC)Reply