Talk:The Little Guy/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 03:54, 4 June 2012 (UTC)

• Image: Beef up the FUR rationale a bit. The image itself is fine and illustrates the article well, it just needs something on the image page so it isn't tagged for deletion in the future
• Lede: "While Hannah (Laura Allen) and Rex (Dylan Minnette) try to deal with each others death, in both green and red realities." This is a sentence fragment. I'd change it to "Meanwhile, Hannah (Laura Allen) and Rex (Dylan Minnette) try to deal with each others death, in both green and red realities."
• Lede: "…television commentators, who praised its storylines. Commentators…" The use of commentator back to back is a little oddly phrased. Maybe sub one for "critics" or "reviewers"
• Plot: Wikilink main characters and add who plays who after their name appears
• Plot: Per WP:TVPLOT, plot summaries shouldn't be over 500 words. At a little over 1,000, this one is overly long and needs to be cut down. Cut it down and I'll review it later.
• Production: Was the director deliberately trying to mimic the pilot's feel, or was that just what the tv critic felt was happening? Its not very clear in the source
• Reception: On Ref 10, make the "Note: Information is in the section titled "w/e 13 May 2012", listed under Sky1" small using
• Reviews: Like the Plot section, this is overly long. The AV Club review takes up basically half the first paragraph, which is gigantic. I'd recommend cutting all of this down, as per WP:TVRECEPTION, because a majority of the section is comprised simply of "he said… 'Quote'"
• Reviews: Add a citation to the quote box
• Reviews: "TV Fanatic's round table team including Carissa Pavlica, Lindey Kempton, Carla Day and Nick McHatton praised and enjoyed the episode" -> "TV Fanatic's round table team, including Carissa Pavlica, Lindey Kempton, Carla Day and Nick McHatton, were pleased with the episode."
• Reviews: "McHatton simply wrote that the episode did "really well"." Did what really well?
• Reviews: The second paragraph also has issues with "He said… QUOTE" or "She said QUOTE". Remove some of these quotes and paraphrase what they actually said. For instance, "Mr. Brown from TVReview.com said he "loved the excitement of the show" could be rendered as "Mr. Brown from TVReview.com positively critiqued the level of excitement that the episode contained and noted that the "loved" the entry". (Note, this was a sample quote I just made up)

Clean up the plot and review sections and I'll comb over them in a bit. Right now they need a bit of work.--Gen. Quon (talk) 16:30, 6 June 2012 (UTC)

There is only one day left, and there's quite a bit of work before this can be promoted.--Gen. Quon (talk) 03:34, 11 June 2012 (UTC)

I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to close this GAN as Unsuccessful. The Plot and Reception areas are still really, really dense and hard to navigate through. Before this is nominated again, I'd recommend a peer-review first, to get rid of the kinks.--Gen. Quon (talk) 14:10, 12 June 2012 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.