Talk:The Infinite Vulcan/GA1

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Aoba47 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 04:23, 3 August 2016 (UTC)Reply

Grabbing this for a review. I will have my comments up shortly.

  • I am not familiar with the series. Is there a production code? If so, please add it to the infobox. If not, then it is fine as it currently stands.
  • I think “to write an episode for the franchise” rather than “of the franchise”.
  • In the following sentence (Koenig found it unenjoyable, due to the number of re-writes required.), please clarify the "it". Are you referring to the writing process, the production process, or something else?
  • Do you mean “After the producers offered him an opportunity to write a second episode” when you say “After the producers offered him a second episode,”? I am uncertain of your meaning in this phrasing.
  • Please add an alt for the image in the “Production” section.
  • Clarify what you mean with the phrase “Like Fontana”. This is the first time you refer to Fontana, and I have no knowledge about this person or his or her views on writing so I am not sure what point you are attempting to make here.
  • Sorry, I thought I'd mentioned her previously. That was D.C. Fontana's views as well - she was the story editor/associate producer for the series. I've clarified and added a further cite for the addition of the material that explains who she is. Miyagawa (talk) 08:31, 3 August 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • In the phrase “Fellow cast member George Takei felt that showed that Koenig”, clarify the meaning of the first “that” and revise to avoid the close repetition of the vague word “that”.

@Miyagawa: Great work on the article! I can tell you put a lot of work in it. Once my relatively minor comments are addressed, this should be a quick and easy pass. Aoba47 (talk) 04:52, 3 August 2016 (UTC)Reply