Talk:The House of Flowers Presents: The Funeral/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Most Comfortable Chair (talk · contribs) 05:57, 14 October 2020 (UTC)

Hello. I will finish the review soon. Thank you. — The Most Comfortable Chair 05:57, 14 October 2020 (UTC)

General

• Use either "season two" or "season 2" throughout, at places where either of them are used.

• I had been using "season 2" per numbering conventions, but changed this to "two" at start/end of sentences. Is there a different way to do it? Kingsif (talk) 12:58, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

Lead

• Unlink — "the show's cast" as this leads to the main article which is already linked in the previous paragraph. This link is fine in the "Cast" section.

•  Done - Note I have a draft of a cast and characters page, I assume it would be suitable to link this in the lead and cast section when promoted to mainspace? Kingsif (talk) 12:59, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

Background

• "something confirmed by Manolo Caro a few days later." → "which was confirmed by Manolo Caro a few days later."
• "Promotion for season 2 then revealed that the character had died, with shots of the funeral included in the season 2 trailer." — Avoid using "season 2" twice in one sentence. Perhaps change "in the season 2 trailer" → "in the trailer", as it is self-evident.

• Both  Done Kingsif (talk) 13:00, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

Plot

• "having been a "mama's boy", he suffers a bit of an identity crisis" — It isn't very clear to me why the former would result in the latter. Maybe clarify that a little?

• Added something to the end that might help. Kingsif (talk) 13:04, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

• "Bruno has become progressively more drunk throughout the wake, unable to deal with his guilt and his unofficial babysitting role for Micaéla (Alexa de Landa), Ernesto's illegitimate child whose mother also died recently (at the outset of season 1) and who had been adopted by Virginia, but his parents are too distracted to notice." — This is a bit too long and confusing. Please consider splitting it into two or three sentences.

• I just chopped some of it off Kingsif (talk) 13:04, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

• "Ernesto's friend" — Can the friend be named?

• The one helping him smuggle the body is unnamed. Kingsif (talk) 13:04, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

• "making fans become more intrigued when the character Paulina says that she can't remember what happened at the funeral" — It doesn't sound right and needs some rephrasing. Something like → "making fans curious when the character Paulina says that she can't remember what happened at the funeral" could work?

•  Done Kingsif (talk) 13:04, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

Response

• "Ángel Balán" — Mention the work/publisher Ángel Balán wrote for.

•  Done Kingsif (talk) 13:05, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

Sources

• "El Sol de México", "Balán, Ángel", and "Cueva, Álvaro" — Need work and/or publisher parameters.

• ESdM is the author and work/publisher, and bots automatically remove the latter parameters when it's the same as author - the staff writing team for the paper are just named as the paper. Added for the other two. Kingsif (talk) 13:08, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

That will be all and it should pass. Thank you and my apologies for the delay. — The Most Comfortable Chair 19:29, 27 October 2020 (UTC)

Kingsif, since it has been a week that I posted the review, I wanted to send you a ping in case you have missed it. Best. — The Most Comfortable Chair 17:57, 3 November 2020 (UTC)

@The Most Comfortable Chair: Sorry, I have been avoiding the internet recently for election-related reasons. I'll get to looking through this, thanks for the review. Kingsif (talk) 08:58, 7 November 2020 (UTC)

@The Most Comfortable Chair: Responded to all comments :) Kingsif (talk) 13:08, 9 November 2020 (UTC)

Final

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

1. It is reasonably well written.

   a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):

2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.

   a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):

3. It is broad in its coverage.

   a (major aspects): b (focused):

4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.

   Fair representation without bias:

5. It is stable.

   No edit wars, etc.:

6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.

   a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):

7. Overall:

   Pass/Fail:

   The article is well-written. It is a good read and meets the criteria. Thank you for your hard work! — The Most Comfortable Chair 13:44, 9 November 2020 (UTC)