Talk:The Ed-touchables and Nagged to Ed

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:The Ed-touchables / Nagged to Ed/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Gen. Quon (talk · contribs) 18:12, 24 August 2013 (UTC)

I'll take a look at this one.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:12, 24 August 2013 (UTC)

• Images: I'm not super-sure those images have good enough fair-use rationales. I see no reason with having them in the article, but just be warned is someone proposes that they get deleted.
• Intro: "three adolescent boys collectively known as "the Eds", unofficially led by Eddy" I would add an 'and' in there so it reads "three adolescent boys collectively known as "the Eds" and unofficially led by Eddy"
• Done. --Khanassassin ☪ 19:30, 27 August 2013 (UTC)
• Intro: "'The Ed-Touchables' follows the Eds as they try to hunt down the 'serial toucher', who has been stealing the cul-de-sac children's belongings for money" the way this sentence is worded implies that the "serial toucher" is stealing the kids' stuff for money, rather than the Eds hunting down the criminal for payment.
• Done. --Khanassassin ☪ 19:30, 27 August 2013 (UTC)
• Intro: "Although Ed, Edd n Eddy was one of Cartoon Network's top-rated shows ever since its premiere and was largely well received" maybe remove "ever since its premiere" and change it to "Although during its run, Ed, Edd n Eddy was one of Cartoon Network's top-rated and was largely well received" since it no longer is airing new episodes
• Since this was the premiere episode, I thought it would be appropriate ... --Khanassassin ☪ 19:30, 27 August 2013 (UTC)
• Nagged to Ed Plot: "Eds are captured once they back against a tree and scream. They regain consciousness…" You don't mention that they lost their consciousness, maybe add that so it doesn't suddenly shift to "they regain consciousness".
• Done, a bit differently. --Khanassassin ☪ 19:30, 27 August 2013 (UTC)
• Nagged to Ed Plot: "The Kankers are hurt…" I assume emotionally?
  • Yup. Fixed. --Khanassassin ☪ 19:30, 27 August 2013 (UTC)
• Nagged to Ed Plot: "the front door" whose front door?
  • Fixed it. --Khanassassin ☪ 19:30, 27 August 2013 (UTC)
• The plot summaries are rather long for 11 minute episodes. Is there anyway you can condense them down a bit?
  • Will try ... --Khanassassin ☪ 19:30, 27 August 2013 (UTC)
• Production: The part about Patric Caid winning an award for the show seems a little out of place, since this article is talking about the episodes, and not the series as a whole
  • Removed. --Khanassassin ☪ 19:30, 27 August 2013 (UTC)
• Reception: can the episodes be bought separate through iTunes/Amazon, etc. or are they lumped together? Just thought I'd check, since the article, as it is now, implies that they are available together.
• Actually, the iTunes sentence implies that they can be bought separatelly or together. Regarding Amazon.com and CN Shop, those are places where the season/volume DVDs are available, so no, as that part currently indicates, they can't be bought separatelly on those two websites. --Khanassassin ☪ 19:30, 27 August 2013 (UTC)
• References: Refs 1 and 2 have url related errors. Those need to be sorted out
• References: Some of the Animation World Magazine articles have what appears to be volume numbers after them (3.6, 3.11, 4.3, etc.) whereas others don't. Should they all?
  • Some of the articles are taken from the AW magazine archive found on the AW network website, which have the issue numbers, while others, directly taken from the AW network, don't. --Khanassassin ☪ 19:30, 27 August 2013 (UTC)

I did a thorough copy-edit. The above issues are all that are remaining. On hold.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 18:57, 27 August 2013 (UTC)

I'm comfortable with the edits/justification for things. I will pass. Good job.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 20:35, 27 August 2013 (UTC)

I've discussed this article briefly with Khanassassin at Talk:Ed, Edd n Eddy, and mentioned to him there that I have some reservations about including series development information from the main article in the production section here. Even though this is the pilot episode, it seems to me that the series was actually greenlit before the episode went into production. As such, I'm not sure that it's relevant to discuss how Antonucci originally contacted Cartoon Network with the idea. Information about how he designed the show (e.g. The sentence about being inspired by cartoons from the 1940s-1970s) might be more appropriate for inclusion, but even still, anyone who is looking for production information on the series as a whole is just going to look for it at Ed, Edd n Eddy, while anyone who sees the production section here will likely expect it to contain information specifically about this episode. Sorry that I didn't get a chance to bring this up before you closed the review, but I think that this would be a good thing to discuss before you move on. --Jpcase (talk) 20:56, 27 August 2013 (UTC)

Thanks, Gen.! :) --Khanassassin ☪ 12:20, 28 August 2013 (UTC)