Talk:The Boat Race 1872

Latest comment: 9 years ago by Ritchie333 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:The Boat Race 1872/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Ritchie333 (talk · contribs) 12:46, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply

Another day, another boat race. If I can get to reviewing one a day (and other people seem to be reviewing them too), we'll clear the backlog soon enough. I'll try and work my way from the oldest forwards unless I happen to find one with an interesting series of events.

Lead

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  • Per what I said for the 1864 race, the lead could be expanded a bit here to reflect the other articles in the series
    Done so, I think. The Rambling Man (talk) 15:55, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply

Background

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  • "strained his side" - what do you mean by "side" here?
    That's all the source says, I imagine it was muscular but I don't want to branch into original research. The Rambling Man (talk) 15:55, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
    I did a search for "side strain" and found some sources, but nothing on WP. Therefore I have just created side strain and would recommend "strained his side" links to that. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:41, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
    Awesome, linked. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:45, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • "broke down and was replaced by C. C. Knollys, also an untrained man" - do you mean for the quotation to run to the end of the sentence? And what does "broke" down entail exactly?
    Again, it's a quote, to "break down" is pretty commonplace in sporting parlance, and yes, I did mean for the quote to run to the end of the sentence, is that problematic? The Rambling Man (talk) 15:55, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
    No, just checking Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:41, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
  • "by E. G. Banks of Worcester College, Oxford" - since the context here is fairly clear it's talk about Oxford, I think the link could be better phrased as simply "Worcester College"
    Thus piped. The Rambling Man (talk) 15:55, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply

Race

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  • "Commencing at 1.35pm" - might be better phrased as "The race started at 1:35pm"
    Revised, but I'm not sure what was wrong, unless it was a distaste for "...ing" stuff...! The Rambling Man (talk) 15:55, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
    Yes, I just don't like starting sentences with the present participle. I've just had a think about it and I think it's because when I'm reading, I'm so used to seeing a finite verb close to the front of a sentence or clause, my brain jogs if there isn't one. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:43, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
    Understood. The Rambling Man (talk) 16:45, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply

Summary

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  • Not much else to say about this - a fairly dull and uneventful race compared to some of the others. On hold, anyhow. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 12:46, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
    Indeed, they can't all be scintillating, I guess the best I can hope for in some of these situations is to be at least comprehensive and accurate. Thanks again for your efforts in assisting with this little project of mine! The Rambling Man (talk) 15:55, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply
    Well, if it's as comprehensive and as accurate as sources allow, then it has to pass. Another one in the bag. Ritchie333 (talk) (cont) 16:59, 1 January 2015 (UTC)Reply