Talk:The Big Goodbye/GA1

Latest comment: 11 years ago by Viriditas in topic GA Review

GA Review

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Reviewer: Viriditas (talk · contribs) 10:32, 26 July 2013 (UTC)Reply

Infobox

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  Resolved
  • Repeating red links to David Selburg in infobox (caption and param.) Remove the latter in the param.

Lead

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  • The episode was the second of the series to be written by Tracy Tormé. Rob Bowman was originally lined up to direct "The Big Goodbye"
  • a computer malfunction traps Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart), Lt. Cmdr. Data (Brent Spiner), and Dr. Beverly Crusher (Gates McFadden) in a 1940s gangster holodeck program
  • The episode was the first to feature the holodeck in a significant manner, and the director and writer both pushed for those sequences to be in black and white.
  • The lead is a pretty rough read. Try reading it to yourself and see if you can fix it up a bit. Viriditas (talk) 01:06, 28 July 2013 (UTC)Reply
    • I've gone through and smoothed it out a little. Hopefully its better now. There were some annoyingly short sentences in there, plus a run on sentence and also some word repetition. I think I got them all. Miyagawa (talk) 09:09, 28 July 2013 (UTC)Reply
  • Copyedit complete. Feel free to make some changes here. I realize the four paragraph format is odd, but the three paragraphs with one large one is even worse. I added four for readability, but feel free to change it around. Viriditas (talk) 08:04, 30 July 2013 (UTC)Reply

Plot

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  • Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) is practising the precise greeting to the aliens, but is tired of practising and opts to spend time in the holodeck in a Dixon Hill story.
    • You could clean this up a bit. There are many ways to do it, but here's one suggestion: "After practising the precise greeting required for the negotiations by Jaradan protocol, Captain Jean-Luc Picard (Patrick Stewart) decides to relax with a Dixon Hill story in the holodeck." Viriditas (talk) 00:50, 28 July 2013 (UTC)Reply

Production

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Reception

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  • It was also nominated for two Emmy Awards, for Outstanding Cinematography for a Series and Outstanding Costumes for a Series, with Edward R. Brown winning the latter for his work on this episode.
    • At first I thought this was vandalism, but when I look closer, it looks like it could be either an error in the source or by the editor who added this. Regardless, Edward R. Brown did not win an Emmy in costume design, William Ware Theiss did.[1] On the other hand, Brown was nominated for Outstanding Cinematography For A Series.[2] I have fixed the problem. Viriditas (talk) 12:24, 30 July 2013 (UTC)Reply

Criteria

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GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

  1. Is it reasonably well written?
    A. Prose quality:  
    Copyedits still needed
    Lead OK
    Plot OK
    Production OK
    Reception OK
    Emmy error fixed.
    B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:  
    Repeating red links to David Selburg in infobox (caption and param.)
    Fixed. Miyagawa (talk) 09:15, 27 July 2013 (UTC)Reply
    OK. Viriditas (talk) 00:45, 28 July 2013 (UTC)Reply
  2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
    A. Has an appropriate reference section:  
    B. Citation to reliable sources where necessary:  
    C. No original research:  
    Production section source issue: Basson (1999)
    Fixed by nom. Viriditas (talk) 00:55, 27 July 2013 (UTC)Reply
  3. Is it broad in its coverage?
    A. Major aspects:  
    B. Focused:  
  4. Is it neutral?
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. Is it stable?
    No edit wars, etc:  
  6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
    A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:  
    Looks OK.
    B. Images are provided if possible and are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:  
    Note, there are other free images from both Maltese Falcon fllms that can be used besides a title card.[3] But if the title card is the best one for the article, then so be it.
    I chose that particular Maltese Falcon image as I thought it was the only one that would be instantly recognisable of the film. Miyagawa (talk) 18:38, 26 July 2013 (UTC)Reply
    Yeah, good choice. Plus, the other images are terrible. Had to ask, though. Viriditas (talk) 03:07, 28 July 2013 (UTC)Reply
  7. Overall:
    Pass or Fail:  
    Mostly prose issues.
    I just wanted to say a massive thank you for all the reviews you've done on these episode articles recently. This is in fact the final episode of the first season of TNG up for GAN - all the others are already Good Articles (although before I look to do a good topic nomination, I want to roll the improvements from the later nominations back into the earlier ones and expand on a few points - I only found the ratings about half way through for example). Miyagawa (talk) 09:18, 28 July 2013 (UTC)Reply
    No worries. I'll have this finished up later tonight. You could help speed things along by giving it a final copyedit. Viriditas (talk) 04:44, 30 July 2013 (UTC)Reply
    Copyedits complete. Emmy error fixed. Viriditas (talk) 12:24, 30 July 2013 (UTC)Reply