Talk:The Astonishing/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 02:58, 20 June 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• The album cover image requires an alt description, so please add one
• There are no sources in this article that back up the release dates of singles "Our New World" and "Hymn of a Thousand Voices", nor that they were even released as commercial singles; please add some sources here and in the article's "Release" section

Lead

Paragraph 1

• "Long Island, New York" --> Please link to its respective article
• "Canada" --> Please link to its respective article as well

Paragraph 3

• "It debuted in the top ten of the Norwegian, Hungarian, Italian, Swedish, Portuguese, Dutch, German, Austrian, and Canadian charts," --> "It debuted in the top ten of nine different countries,"
• "It has received generally favorable reviews and currently holds an average score of 80/100 on the review aggregator Metacritic. The band is currently touring in support of the album." --> "It has received generally favorable reviews from music critics and the band is currently touring in support of the album."

Background

Paragraph 2

• "every day..." --> "everyday..."

Paragraph 4

• "Dream Theater began recording the album's bass, drums, guitars, and keyboards in January 2015 at Cove City Sound Studios in Long Island, New York, where they also recorded their two previous albums, A Dramatic Turn of Events and Dream Theater.[9]" --> You need to add the release years in parentheses after both album titles: [in this case (2011), followed by (2013).]

Synopsis

• Good since it comes straight from the source!

Composition

Paragraph 1

• "it has been compared to The Who's Tommy, Pink Floyd's The Wall, Queensrÿche's Operation: Mindcrime, and Rush's 2112, the latter of which also revolves around music being used to achieve freedom in a futuristic setting.[18][19]" --> You need to add the release years in parentheses after both album titles: [in this case (1969), followed by (1979), (1988), and (1976).]
• I would order 2112 in between Tommy and The Wall so the releases are in chronological order
• "My thought was, ‘What would happen if with all the advances in technology in music that music [became] all artificial?’”[3]" --> I don't know why, but this doesn't read correctly to me...

Release

Paragraph 1

• "Dream Theater began their marketing campaign for The Astonishing in October 2015, prompting visitors to their official website to choose between mailing lists for the Great Northern Empire or the Ravenskill Rebel Militia.[23]" --> "Dream Theater began their marketing campaign for The Astonishing in October 2015, prompting visitors to visit their official website to choose between mailing lists for the Great Northern Empire or the Ravenskill Rebel Militia.[23]"
• "Leading to the album's release, the band released a single, "The Gift of Music",[29] and premiered another song, "Moment of Betrayal".[3] They also made an official trailer available via YouTube.[30]" --> Add release dates please

Paragraph 2

• "In the United States, it entered the Billboard 200 at number eleven overall and became Dream Theater's first ever number one debut on the Billboard Rock Chart.[32]" --> "In the United States, it entered and peaked on the Billboard 200 at number eleven and became Dream Theater's first ever number one debut on the Billboard Rock Chart.[32]"

Critical reception

• Make this an entirely separate section please, by removing an "equal" sign from the beginning and end of the title
• Rest looks absolutely great!

Track listing

• "All track information taken from The Astonishing liner notes.[1]

All lyrics written by John Petrucci, all music composed by Petrucci and Jordan Rudess." --> "All track information taken from The Astonishing liner notes; all lyrics written by John Petrucci, all music composed by Petrucci and Jordan Rudess[1]."

End of GA Review:

Great article @Ktmartell:! Just a few changes before passing! Good luck! On hold for seven days! Great work. Thanks and cheers, Carbrera (talk) 21:07, 22 June 2016 (UTC)!

Thanks for the great feedback. I just knocked out the easy stuff. Will finish everything up ASAP, certainly by June 29.--Ktmartell (talk) 18:58, 26 June 2016 (UTC)

Alrighty! A few notes:

• The two links you requested in the Background section are actually already there, but let me know if you can't find the references or if they're referenced poorly or something.
• The Petrucci comment in Composition Paragraph 1 does read strangely, but I also copied it directly from the article. I tried trimming it a bit to make it better.
• I added release dates for ONW and HOATV, although I'm not sure if they're technically singles. I can remove if that would be better.

Please let me know if there are any outstanding issues and I can revise. Thanks!--Ktmartell (talk) 21:21, 26 June 2016 (UTC)

Nope! Thanks so much! I passed the article and removed the two singles you're unsure of. Thanks again! Cheers, Carbrera (talk) 21:48, 26 June 2016 (UTC).