Talk:Thames Valley Royals proposal
Latest comment: 11 years ago by Cliftonian in topic GA Review
 | Thames Valley Royals proposal has been listed as one of the Sports and recreation good articles under the good article criteria. If you can improve it further, please do so. If it no longer meets these criteria, you can reassess it. Review: September 11, 2013. (Reviewed version). |
| This is the talk page for discussing improvements to the Thames Valley Royals proposal article. This is not a forum for general discussion of the article's subject. |
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GA Review
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| Reviewing |
- This review is transcluded from Talk:Thames Valley Royals proposal/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.
Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 09:32, 3 September 2013 (UTC)
- okay - I remember this when it happened - will read and copyedit as I go and jot queries below...Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 09:32, 3 September 2013 (UTC)
- Right, now where was I .....hmmm....
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'it nearly went through - a tad colloquial-sounding....but I can't think of a better phrase - "it nearly came to fruition"? hmmmm
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it derailed at the last minute- " it was derailed at the last minute " (more used to seeing it in passive tense...)
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robably replace at least one "Maxwell" with a pronoun in para 2 of lead.
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I am wondering if we can improve the structure of the lead - currently it has para 1 = very potted summary, paras 2 & 3 are more details....but this makes the article have a three-tiered level of detail. I think maybe rearranging the lead strictly chronologically would be better - otherwise it comes across as repetitive.- Okay. I have trimmed it down and put it more chronologically; what do you think now? —Cliftonian (talk) 11:29, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
- Much better. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 11:33, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
- Okay. I have trimmed it down and put it more chronologically; what do you think now? —Cliftonian (talk) 11:29, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
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There was fear in the faces of the older players," he said. "It was a feeling of incredulity, confusion, worry and fear."- bit laboured using "fear" twice in the one sentence....
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The residents of neither Didcot nor Wallingford elicited much interest- "The residents of neither Didcot nor Wallingford showed much interest" You elicit something in something - i.e. someone eliciting interest out of the locals...- Ok, thanks for this —Cliftonian (talk) 11:29, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
1. Well written?:
- Prose quality:
- Manual of Style compliance:
2. Factually accurate and verifiable?:
- References to sources:
- Citations to reliable sources, where required:
- No original research:
3. Broad in coverage?:
- Major aspects:
- Focused:
4. Reflects a neutral point of view?:
- Fair representation without bias:
5. Reasonably stable?
- No edit wars, etc. (Vandalism does not count against GA):
6. Illustrated by images, when possible and appropriate?:
- Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:
- Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
- Pass or Fail: - nice and tight/interesting read, well done. Cas Liber (talk · contribs) 11:37, 11 September 2013 (UTC)
- Thanks Casliber! —Cliftonian (talk) 11:43, 11 September 2013 (UTC)