Talk:Targeted Killings/Archive 1

Notices posted about new article creation

I've posted notices about this new article creation, to the following talk pages:

1. User talk:Cirt
2. Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Terrorism
3. Wikipedia talk:WikiProject United States
4. Wikipedia talk:WikiProject United States Public Policy
5. Wikipedia talk:UK Wikipedians' notice board
6. Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Military history
7. Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Politics
8. Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Law
9. Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Crime and Criminal Biography
10. Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Death
11. Wikipedia talk:WikiProject Books
12. User talk:Metropolitan90

Cheers, — Cirt (talk) 04:15, 30 September 2013 (UTC)

Nominated for GA

I've nominated the article for WP:GA status through the WP:GAN process. — Cirt (talk) 04:22, 30 September 2013 (UTC)

A suggestion: pare down the lede

Good work on the article. One area for improvement that pops out to me would be to shorten the lede; it's about half as long as the rest of the article. Each of the paragraphs after the first one could probably be summarized in a sentence or two:

"The first section of the book involves a discussion of targeted killing of noncombatants." (What do the other sections entail?) "Another chapter addresses the killing of Osama bin Laden."

"The book was well-received in law reviews and by academics across multiple disciplines, which praised its coverage of the legal, moral, political, and strategic aspects of targeted killings."

Maybe this would be a little too bare and could be filled out with an additional sentence or clause or two without going into excessive detail.--Wikimedes (talk)

Thanks very much, Wikimedes, for your interest in this new article! I'll take another look through the lede and try to shorten it a bit, incorporating your helpful suggestions. Cheers, — Cirt (talk) 20:46, 30 September 2013 (UTC)

• Seconded. For a 17kb article, the lede should be 2, 3 paragraphs maximum. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 08:45, 6 October 2013 (UTC)

Agreed, thank you, will get on that soon. — Cirt (talk) 09:05, 6 October 2013 (UTC)

 Done, trimmed lede size down significantly, directly incorporated comments from above, DIFF. Thanks again for these helpful suggestions, — Cirt (talk) 18:01, 6 October 2013 (UTC)

Looks pretty good. I made a few tweaks. I would recommend limiting the paragraph on the book's reception to the first sentence and leaving the rest to the body. (I could see keeping the last 2 sentences as an example of the types of praise mentioned in the first sentence and an example of criticism.)--Wikimedes (talk) 20:39, 6 October 2013 (UTC)

Thanks for your helpful modifications! Well, let me mull over trimming the last paragraph a tad bit more, first, I think some of the quotes can be retained in some way shape or form, so as to give a healthy smattering for the reader in the intro. Cheers, — Cirt (talk) 23:56, 6 October 2013 (UTC)

Update: Okay, I've gone ahead and trimmed down the size of the last paragraph in the lede intro sect, again, a bit more this time: DIFF. Cheers, — Cirt (talk) 03:23, 8 October 2013 (UTC)

I pared it down even further. See how it reads, and adjust (or even revert) as necessary. Some rationale: While I liked the use of titles in the 2nd paragraph (a law professor discusses the legal aspects, a philosophy professor discusses the moral aspects, etc.), I didn't think that they were necessary in the third paragraph; an interested reader can find that information in the body. I also tried to paraphrase quotes, shortening them to their basic meaning, and group similar comments. It might be a bit of a stretch to group Geiss and Barela if Barela did not mention all those aspects of coverage, but that can be treated in the citation if necessary: Barela citation (legal and moral). Geiss citation (legal, ethical, strategic, political).--Wikimedes (talk) 05:27, 8 October 2013 (UTC)

No no no, it looks great, I made some minor tweaks, but thanks very much for your helpful input! :) — Cirt (talk) 05:36, 8 October 2013 (UTC)

Requested copy edit from Guild of Copy Editors

I've requested a copy edit from Wikipedia:WikiProject Guild of Copy Editors, hopefully they'll be by some time soon to go through the article.

Cheers,

— Cirt (talk) 03:02, 9 November 2013 (UTC)

Promoted to GA quality

This article had a GA Review and was successfully promoted to GA quality; the review is at Talk:Targeted Killings: Law and Morality in an Asymmetrical World/GA1. — Cirt (talk) 20:42, 20 November 2013 (UTC)

Guild of Copy Editors completed

Thanks to Baffle gab1978 (talk · contribs) for the helpful copy editing, much appreciated, — Cirt (talk) 04:07, 19 December 2013 (UTC)