Talk:Tanyus Shahin/GA1
Latest comment: 8 years ago by Al Ameer son in topic GA Review
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Reviewer: FunkMonk (talk · contribs) 11:56, 7 March 2016 (UTC)
- What have we here, I'll take this one. FunkMonk (talk) 11:56, 7 March 2016 (UTC)
- It seems the caption to the infobox image is redundant,
- "sermon-like speeches at village meetings" About what?
- " to a Maronite family" I'd say Maronite Christian, not everyone knows what it is.
- "burdens of corvée" Explain briefly?
- "power had been significantly rolled back" Diminished might be clearer here?
- "Double Qaimaqmate" Explain.
- "as the qaimaqam" Explain.
- "a group of Keserwani peasants" Saying "keserwani" seems a bit esoteric (only people familiar with Arabic will know this form), maybe say Keserwan peasants or peasants from Keserwan?
- "the governor of Beirut." Maybe add Ottoman governor.
- "The Maronite patriarch" Some person this could link to?
- "with Shahin declaring a republic (jumhuriyya)" What was the name of the republic? Could be named in the title there as well.
- "Shahin, who by this point oversaw a 1,000-strong militia,[7] exercised power through seizing arms, ensuring the upholding of the law and establishing security on the roads." Grammar seems odd, shouldn't it be "ensured the upholding" and "established security"?
- "through both peaceful and coercive means that they were all a part of single" Sentence seems to be missing something,
- "tit-for-tat killings and attacks of sectarian nature between Druzes and Christians had been occurring" Anything on how this started?
- "nearby village of Antelias." Which sect lived there?
- "becoming a civil war" I would use all of this as link, otherwise readers might think it simply links to an article about civil war in general.
- "becoming a civil war mainly between the Druze and the Christians." Perhaps add how far this war spread?
- "their reorganization of Mount Lebanon." Into what?
- "and posted a number of his troops" His own troops?
- Perhaps mention his raidings and reputation among enemies in the intro?
I've addressed most of the points above, there's a couple more to go. I'll get to them tomorrow hopefully. Thanks for reviewing this Funk, cheers --Al Ameer (talk) 03:19, 9 March 2016 (UTC)
- Looks good so far! FunkMonk (talk) 08:32, 9 March 2016 (UTC)
- @FunkMonk: I believe I've addressed the rest of the issues the best I can for now. Other than that, I'm thinking of adding more images, perhaps of Keserwan, to illustrate the article better. --Al Ameer (talk) 22:52, 19 March 2016 (UTC)
- Alright, looks good to me as is, so will go ahead and pass it now. Interesting that you've been focusing on rather obscure, yet important, parts of Middle Eastern history recently, important work I'd say. FunkMonk (talk) 23:08, 19 March 2016 (UTC)
- Thanks Funk. These men and events are pretty obscure to most Western readers (including myself before I decided to research), but indeed, they played important roles in the region's history and to different degrees, contributed to the shaping of the modern Middle East and its various states. --Al Ameer (talk) 23:55, 19 March 2016 (UTC)
- Alright, looks good to me as is, so will go ahead and pass it now. Interesting that you've been focusing on rather obscure, yet important, parts of Middle Eastern history recently, important work I'd say. FunkMonk (talk) 23:08, 19 March 2016 (UTC)
- @FunkMonk: I believe I've addressed the rest of the issues the best I can for now. Other than that, I'm thinking of adding more images, perhaps of Keserwan, to illustrate the article better. --Al Ameer (talk) 22:52, 19 March 2016 (UTC)