Talk:Tahmasp I/GA2

Latest comment: 1 year ago by Amir Ghandi in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 18:04, 2 June 2022 (UTC)Reply


I'll get to this shortly.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:04, 2 June 2022 (UTC)Reply

Hello @Sturmvogel 66:, I hope youre doing fine. Just wanted to know if you can find the time for this review? Given that it's been more than three weeks without any respond. Thanks. Amir Ghandi (talk) 21:50, 24 June 2022 (UTC)Reply
  • Combine the first two paragraphs of the lede
Done
  • Images are appropriately licensed
  • Add a redlink for the Battle of Jam
Done
  • While you mention that most of his children were killed in the succession wars after his death in the lede, you really don't discuss it in the main body, just in the listing of his children. You need to flesh this out in a dedicated paragraph
Done. Added details in the 'later life and death' part.
  • You don't really explain why or how he came to despise poets later in life
Done
  • The link to the Battle of Chaldiran is insufficient. You need to spell out that it was a loss to the Ottomans in 1514, etc.
Done.
  • Tell the reader that Suleiman was fighting the Habsburgs in Hungary until the 1532 invasion of Azerbaijan and Kurdistan by Olama Beg
Done
  • Tell the reader what Omar Koshan is as well as the cursing of the Rashidun caliphs
Done
But what about the cursing? What's that all about?--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:18, 30 June 2022 (UTC)Reply
It's expressing hatred towards the caliphs the Sunni Islam holds dear; I think it's clear enough, if I was to elaborate it more, it would come unneutral. Amir Ghandi (talk) 14:59, 30 June 2022 (UTC)Reply
Then say that. Otherwise non-Muslims are gonna have no clue what's that about. I certainly didn't know that the Rashidun caliphs were Sunni.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:15, 30 June 2022 (UTC)Reply
Done Amir Ghandi (talk) 15:39, 30 June 2022 (UTC)Reply

@Sturmvogel 66:, Thanks for the review, all done.Amir Ghandi (talk) 04:39, 30 June 2022 (UTC)Reply

  • The historiography section is mostly redundant to the other sections. Move the pictures elsewhere and delete the entire section.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 14:18, 30 June 2022 (UTC)Reply
    Done Amir Ghandi (talk) 14:56, 30 June 2022 (UTC)Reply