Talk:Suleiman of Dulkadir/GA1

Latest comment: 3 days ago by Aintabli in topic GA Review

GA Review

edit

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Nominator: Aintabli (talk · contribs) 02:57, 15 February 2024 (UTC)Reply

Reviewer: Cplakidas (talk · contribs) 11:35, 8 September 2024 (UTC)Reply

Will take this on hopefully within the next few days/week. Constantine 11:35, 8 September 2024 (UTC)Reply

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable, as shown by a source spot-check.
    a (reference section):   b (inline citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):   d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  
Lede
  • Can you localize Dulkadir and give some context? E.g. '...Dulkadir, a Turkoman principality in southeastern Anatolia,...'
      Done
  • wali should be placed in appropriate transliteration template
      Done
  • regnant Mamluk Sultan is there a reason for the 'regnant' distinction?
    Could be, but I don't remember anymore. Removed.
  • It would be useful to clarify that the Ottoman and Mamluk sultans represented the two major powers of the region, which Dulkadir found itself sandwiched between
      Done
  • Clarify his relationship to the Aq Qoyunlu
      Done Aintabli (talk) 15:32, 9 October 2024 (UTC)Reply
Early life and background
  • Parallel to his father's support for parallel to or as a result of?
  • Give some context on who Mehmed Chelebi and Musa Chelebi were (i.e. brothers and rival contenders for the throne)
  • ridden by internal struggles somewhat idiomatic
  • As in the lede, it would help clarify Dulkadir's relations to all these states, and especially the Ottomans and Mamluks; we see them involved in the Ottoman civil war and in the next sentence fighting for the Mamluks. Were they independent, allied to, vassals?
Reign
  • He was fairly experienced when he ascended to the throne after his father's death in October 1442. suggest moving this to the start of the section, to bridge the gap with the last chronological mention.
  • against the Karamanids and the Qara Qoyunlu Who were the Qara Qoyunlu and why were they a threat?
  • Link Halil Pasha to Çandarlı Halil Pasha the Younger
  • wali, kadi, ulama etc should be in the appropriate transliteration template
  • Following their struggle with Jahangir, the leader of the Aq Qoyunlu, from the placement of the qualifier it is not immediately clear who was the leader of the Aq Qoyunlu. Also provide regnal dates and a time for this struggle and the reason/more details ('struggle' is way too generic). E.g. "In YYYY, Kasim Beg, uncle of the Aq Qoyunlu ruler Jahangir (r. YYYY-YYYY), conspired against his nephew (or whatever the context was). After the failure of...."
  • Introduce Uzun Hasan and his relationship with Jahangir
  • decree every Syrian Mamluk governor to help Suleiman, his father-in-law either 'order every Syrian Mamluk governor to help Suleiman' or 'decree that every Syrian Mamluk governor help Suleiman'. You can decree an order, but not a person. TO help avoid confusion, I also suggest 'his father-in-law Suleiman'.
  • wage war in Ray, Iran why was that important? Most readers won't know how/why this affected the Qara Qoyunlu
  • 30-thousand-strong per MOS, either 'thirty-thousand-strong' or '30,000-strong'

Overall the article, though short, looks good. Though I am not an expert it appears comprehensive and relies on good sources. Constantine 12:23, 5 October 2024 (UTC)Reply