Talk:Steve Longa/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Harrias (talk · contribs) 11:59, 20 November 2017 (UTC)

Right, time for another. From the top of the pile this time.

Lead

• "..tackles by a freshmen.." Should be "freshman".  Done
• "Longa forgoed his final year.." I think it should be "forwent".  Done

Early life

• "Longa lived in Yaoundé, Cameroon before moving to the United States at the age of 12." Would it be worth mentioning in the lead that he is from Cameroon; it seems at least slightly noteworthy?
  • Due to the lead saying "American football", a lot of American football bios don't have any nationality stated in the lead to avoid the weird "Cameroonian American football player" and because probably around 95% of American football players are American (also see this for lead examples). I have also seen some articles written like "Cameroonian professional American football player". Also, is Longa an American now too? I could change it to "Cameroonian-born" (which I have now done) Thoughts? WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 23:39, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
• "..and was recruited to play football." Clarify which code of football here; while it is in the lead, I always think it worth repeating on first mention in the body.  Done
• What is "BPSL-Carpenter"? There is a link for BPSL, but no indication what Carpenter might represent.  Done
  • I've tried to make this clearer in the article, let me know what you think? Harrias ^talk 07:35, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
    • Looks fine. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 22:43, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
• Provide a wikilink or explanation for sacks, rushing yards, and rushing touchdowns.  Done
• As above for "NJIC-Meadowlands B". In this case, I can see Meadowlands is a division. Does this mean he was named on the "First team" honors for the Meadowlands (B?) division of the NJIC? Greater clarity is needed on these.  Done
  • I've tried to make this clearer in the article, let me know what you think? Harrias ^talk 07:35, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
    • Looks fine. From googling, it looks like Meadowlands B is a division. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 22:43, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
• What is the 2011 Chesapeake Bowl?  Done
  • @WikiOriginal-9: Still need something on this. Harrias ^talk 07:35, 23 November 2017 (UTC)
• "He committed to Rutgers in May 2011." Spell this out a bit more: "He committed to play college football for Rutgers in May 2011." Or similar (assuming I'm understanding it right.)  Done

College career

• "..by any NCAA Division I freshmen.." Should be "freshman".  Done
• Explain "forced fumbles", "fumble recovery", "pass breakups".  Done
• "..with lineman Marcus Thompson." What is a "lineman"?  Done

Referencing

• Generally looks good, all live links and spotchecks reveal nothing to concern me. Harrias ^talk 11:59, 20 November 2017 (UTC)
  • Thanks for your work on this, happy to pass now. Harrias ^talk 09:25, 24 November 2017 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review. WikiOriginal-9 (talk) 18:50, 24 November 2017 (UTC)