Talk:Sonnenbrille/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:37, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

I have seen proof of your reliability in responding to reviews before, so one for this article is due! --K. Peake 07:37, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

Infobox and lead

• Replace hlist with bullet points per Template:Infobox song
• Make the writing sentence the second of the para instead
• ""Sonnenbrille" was written by Loredana along" → "The song was written by Loredana alongside" and remove introduction on German producers
• "who also produced the single." → "who also handled the production."
• The music video sentence should be the last of the para instead
• "of "Sonnenbrille", criticising the quality of its lyrics" → "of the song, criticising the quality of the lyrics"
• "the single reached the" → "it reached the"
• "and was awarded Gold" → "while being awarded gold" and mention the respective certification bodies

Background and composition

• "and her relationship with" → "as well as her relationship with"
• "then convinced to release it as her own single." → "then convinced to keep it as her own song." per the source
• "It was then" → "The song was subsequently" and mention this being in various countries
• "was written by Loredana along" → "was co-written by Loredana with"
• Add actual info about the composition, using sources like the ones in reception talking about things such as auto-tune and the lyrics
• The music video info should be moved to a second para in the below section, which I will explain further on
• "Its accompanying music video" → "An accompanying music video"

Reception

• Retitle to Reception and promotion, moving the music video to the end
• Luzerner Zeitung should be italicised
• Shouldn't you write "meaning[less]" instead since the source does not show the word meaningless itself on my translator?
• "wrote, "there is a terribly superficial world, about" → "wrote that there is "a terribly superficial world", about"
• "status symbols, celebrated in its lyrics"," → "status symbols" that is celebrated in its lyrics" beginning the quote again at beauty because the rest is not directly mentioned in the source

I responded to the first part and removed the rest; I think the "status symbols" are enough to portray the critic's main point. Iaof2017 (talk) 15:03, 5 April 2022 (UTC)

• The word "confidend" does not show up for the source
• The source shows that she is described as rapping "confidently" and "routinely", not the terms used here
• "on their social media." → "on social media accounts."
• Add the citations for the song's chart positions
• "Gold in Austria and" → "gold in both Austria and"

Credits and personnel

• Producing/songwriting credits should come before the music video ones
• Wikilink Miksu

Track listing

• Good

Charts

• Good

Certifications

• Good

Release history

• Good

References

• Copyvio score is practically non-existent, top job!!!!
• Laut → laut.de on refs 1 and 7, wikilinking on the first instance
• Shouldn't Lyrics Magazin be italicised on ref 3?
• WP:OVERLINK of Apple Music after ref 4's first citation
• Cite YouTube in the via parameter instead on ref 5
• Remove on Spotify from the title of ref 6
• Cite Vice as work/website instead on ref 10 and pipe to Vice (magazine)
• What makes ref 12 a reliable source?

Published by Mediabiz, MusikWoche is a well-known music journal/magazine in Germany dedicated to the German-speaking music industry with updating news, charts and so on. [1] Iaof2017 (talk) 15:14, 5 April 2022 (UTC)

• WP:OVERLINK of Top Channel on ref 13

Final comments and verdict

•  On hold until all of the issues are fixed after a quick review! --K. Peake 08:38, 1 April 2022 (UTC)

• Iaof2017 I have just seen that you have implemented a majority of these changes now after you never mentioned me; decent job so far, but why have you not addressed some of my concerns? Also, there are some struck off that you did not complete: the music video info was not moved even after the reception section was retitled, you forgot to place any of the song credits first under personnel apart from the lead artist and YouTube was not moved to the via parameter. --K. Peake 07:02, 5 April 2022 (UTC)

Hello Kyle Peake and thank you for your review. I would like to apologize for responding so late, I was really busy with private stuff etc. (:S) I've solved to your comments, except for those I left a response on. Cheers! Iaof2017 (talk) 15:18, 5 April 2022 (UTC)

Iaof2017 Thanks for taking things further here, but you still need to place producing and songwriting credits first for Macloud and cite YouTube in the via parameter. --K. Peake 09:23, 6 April 2022 (UTC)

Kyle Peake, I assumed that I had already fixed the point with the credits but erroneously overlooked it, sorry. I am not clear about the YouTube citation, I've already changed it. :S Iaof2017 (talk) 20:46, 6 April 2022 (UTC)

• ✓ Pass now, the credits and YouTube citation totally look fine plus I understand you not being sure initially! --K. Peake 09:33, 7 April 2022 (UTC)