Talk:Snooker/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 13:56, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

Comments

What a fine article. I shall have only small comments to make.

• Sir Neville Chamberlain: Perhaps provide his dates (1856–1944) as he isn't the better-known chap of this name (and yes, I saw the footnote).
  • Wasn't sure which place this is suitible, so I added the dates to the lede. I can also add to the prose if suitible (but, there is already a note, as suggested above). Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:49, 5 January 2020 (UTC)
• Ooty: suggest we have at least one of the city's real names in parentheses (Udagamandalam, Ootacamund).
  • Specifics added to prose. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:49, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• "from a pastime activity to a professional activity". Suggest "from a pastime to a professional activity".
  • I thought I'd already changed this one.  Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:49, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• "United Kingdom,[22] Ireland and much of the Commonwealth," add a comma after "Ireland".
  • WP:SERIAL says you can use either a serial comma or not, so long as it is consistent. If I've used a serial elsewhwere, I'll update. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:49, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• Objective: remove "Figure A" from image caption.
  • reworded Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:49, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• Equipment: I see there is already an excellent Glossary of cue sports terms. I suggest we remove all the duplication with that glossary, i.e. the equipment discussion is made not to contain a list of terms at all. I suggest that there should remain the top 2 paragraphs and the paragraph on "Cloth" (but without the heading). You might wish to keep some of the citations from the list, or move them to the Glossary article. The first word "Accessories" links to the section itself, so please remove that link too.

 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:49, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• Variants: same again really; there is a right-and-proper link to Snooker variants, which should be a "Main" link, followed by a single-paragraph summary but no list in this article.

Actually, the link is simply to Category:snooker variants, and not an article, or I would have taken the section out in it's entirety. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:49, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• See also: Perhaps the Ladies World Snooker Championship deserves a short cited paragraph in the article instead of a see also link?

There is a bit that I added about women's and seniors in Governance and tournaments. It could be expanded, sure, but outside of the professional game, the women's game is barely covered. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:01, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• See also: I don't see the logic in including the 2019/2020 season here as it's in the navbar below and we certainly don't want to include all the other seasons here.

Removed Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:01, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• Image "Ronnie O'Sullivan": Suggest add "The English player ..."
  • Added Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:01, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• Burroughes & Watts: please wikilink.

 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:49, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• Heading "Notable players": the term "notable" is a risky one as all Wikipedia subjects are by definition notable (or ripe for deletion). The intention here seems to be "The game's most famous champions" so perhaps a short heading with that sort of meaning would be better here.
  • Changed to "important". I can't think of a better names. Maybe "important figures", but they are all players, so it's a little bit more suitable Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:01, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• You might want to put a photo of the pioneering and exceptional Joe Davis in the "Famous champions" section (and left-align it).
  • I'm not a fan of left align, but adding a photo of Joe is a great idea. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:01, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• Gadsby and Williams 2012: as there is just one use of this "Source" I suggest you merge it with the ref and remove the "Sources" section. You could therefore also remove the "Citations" heading.

 Done Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:01, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

• External links: Is "Cuesports club" there for good reason? It looks a bit like advertising. The "History of Billiards in Brazil" also looks somewhat misplaced; if it's notable that history should be described briefly in the article and cited to that source, but at a glance the page doesn't say a lot (so maybe remove it).

Removed Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 14:49, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

Hi Chiswick Chap, I've replied to all of the above. There's a couple things I haven't changed, as per comments above. Else, everything else is covered. Best Wishes, Lee Vilenski ^{(talk • contribs)} 15:04, 5 January 2020 (UTC)

Well I think we're all done here, in record time. Like an O'Sullivan break, or something. Great work. Chiswick Chap (talk) 15:05, 5 January 2020 (UTC)