Talk:Siege of Ngatapa

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Siege of Ngatapa/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 00:20, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

I can take a look at this! — GhostRiver 00:20, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV () 3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant () Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Infobox and lede

• "thought was inaccessible" → "believed to be inaccessible"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 02:46, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

Background

• "Māori" is missing the necessary diacritic in the second sentence

• Thought I had gotten all of these. Zawed (talk) 02:46, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

• "and without a trial, in early 1866, was exiled to" → "and in early 1866 was exiled without a trial to"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 02:46, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

• "well armed having secured weapons from" → "well-armed with weapons secured from"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 02:46, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

• "Te Kooti; it offered" → "Te Kooti, offering"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 02:46, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

• "surrendering their arms" → "a surrender of arms"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 02:46, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

• "Among those killed was" → "Among those killed were"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 02:46, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

Prelude

• Diacritics missing on "Ringatū" in the sentence beginning "They attacked Makeretu"

• Fixed. Zawed (talk) 02:46, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

• Comma after "wanted to execute some of the prisoners"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 02:46, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

Ngatapa

• "An elongate" → "An elongated"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 02:46, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

Siege

• Not a deal-breaker, but consider breaking this up into subheads for each stage of the siege

• I have added a couple, what do you think? Zawed (talk) 03:13, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

• Comma after "Ropata requested some be brought up"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 03:07, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

• Comma after "following the engagement there"

• Done. Zawed (talk) 03:07, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

• Comma after "lightning raid into Poverty Bay"

• Looking at this one again, it was quite a long sentence so I opted to break it at this point instead. Zawed (talk) 03:07, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

Aftermath

• "subsequently executed in the subsequent pursuit" drop one of the "subsequent"s

• Done. Zawed (talk) 03:13, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

• "in Poverty Bay was a breach" → "in Poverty Bay were a breach" (subject/verb agreement with "actions")

• Done. Zawed (talk) 03:13, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

References

• While WordPress isn't known for being the most reliable site, it looks like Wright included this fact on page 203 of his book Guns and Utu, so you should be able to swap [27] out for that with ease

• Yes, I got an alert warning when I first added the citation to Word Press. I felt the use of Word Press was OK in this instance since it was expressing Wright's opinion rather than being used to verify a fact. That said, I am thinking of taking this article to FA in the near future so removing a potential issue now is for the best anyway. I happen to have that Guns and Utu book so have swapped it out. Zawed (talk) 03:04, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

General comments

• Photos are relevant and public domain
• No stability concerns in the revision history
• Earwig score looks good

Only very minor prose things! Putting on hold for now, and feel free to ping if there are any questions. — GhostRiver 00:36, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

GhostRiver, thank you for your time in reviewing the article, it is greatly appreciated. I have responded to your feedback with edits to the article and the comments above. Thanks again, Zawed (talk) 03:15, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

Everything looks good on my end now, and I think the subheads on the Siege section look good. Happy to pass! — GhostRiver 14:34, 10 October 2021 (UTC)

Is the translation accurate?

I somewhat doubt the Siege of Ngatapa is simply known as 'Ngatapa' (which is a real location) in Maori. I suggest the translation be removed until an accurate one can be provided/sourced. Traumnovelle (talk) 04:39, 5 January 2024 (UTC)

It's not a translation of the battle name, it's to show the place name is Māori. Zawed (talk) 08:42, 5 January 2024 (UTC)

That's not really how it comes across. Compare Battle of Blenheim and Battle of the Ebro for examples.

I checked all the other New Zealand Wars pages and none of them had this. This usage doesn't seem to be common when compared to it being a translation of the battle location.

I think it causes more confusion than anything, I imagine anyone with a decent grasp of English will figure that Ngatapa isn't an English name and will quickly pick up it's Maori upon reading the article even if they had no idea about the Maori people. Traumnovelle (talk) 20:47, 5 January 2024 (UTC)

Moved to first mention of Ngatapa in isolation. Zawed (talk) 21:24, 5 January 2024 (UTC)