Talk:Shwezigon Pagoda

Latest comment: 8 years ago by Nvvchar in topic GA Review


GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Shwezigon Pagoda/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 14:08, 29 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

Ages since I last reviewed one of your works :) Sainsf (talk · contribs) 14:08, 29 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

No dablinks, no copyvio detected, images are properly licensed. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 14:11, 29 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

Here are my comments about the prose and layout:

Lead
  • Do we need to say Burma? I think the current name should be enough.
    • Deleted mention of Burma
  • Would be good to add the period when construction began.
    • Added
  • Better add Anawrahta was the founder of the Pagan dynasty.
    • Added
  • When you say "pagoda" for the first time, it would be good to add what exactly this means. Like an inline explanation of a few words, or a link.
    • Linked and explained
  • I think the lead should be expanded to two paras covering all the major points of the article, per WP:MOSLEAD.
    • Expanded
History
  • Not sure why we say "initially" in Initially "Chronicles of the Kings of Burma"
    • Removed word intially and the sentnce now starts as Chronicles of the Kings of Burma
  • I don't see why the conversion and reason of the king's death have been included in this article
    • The reason is that he built the pagoda after he converted to Buddhism. His death is mentioned as he could not complete the construction during his life time which ended in an accident. It is contextual.
  • Shewzigon pagoda meaning "pagoda on a dune." In which language?
    • Mentioned in "Burmese language"
  • son Kyanzittha "Kyansittha"
    • Corrected
Features
  • Link stupa (at first mention), Mon.
    • Link is now only in the lead. Mon is also linked

Will return with more. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 14:27, 29 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

Continuing with the rest of the article,

Features
  • Note that I have done some minor CEs in the article, and changed it completely to British English per WP:ENGVAR. Please remember to use the relevant variety of English in you future works.
    • Thanks. Suggestions noted
  • Link "nat" at first mention (here I mean the article excluding the lead). A few words as an inline explanation would be helpful to readers who don't like chasing links (well, I am one of them).
    • Done
  • In general words foreign to the English language, like 'chatri', should be in italics.
    • Done
  • "Nat Spirit" --> "nat spirit"
    • Done
  • On the outer limits of the pagoda there is a shrine where 37 nats are deified along with an intricately carved wooden sculpture of Thagyamin I think this shold be combined with the mention of the 37 nats in the first para.
    • Rearranged
  • I don't think chatri should be linked, the meaning is same as umbrella's.
    • Delinked
  • where devotees affix "dedicatory tablets" What exactly is a "tablet" here? The electronic device?
    • They are slabs. Corrected
  • known as chinthes which are leogryphs What is a leogryph? One can't know readily as it is a redlink at the moment.
    • It is "leoglyph" a kind of geoglyph. I have corrected the spelling
  • "jataka" --> "Jataka"
    • Done
  • Link Indra.
    • Done
  • Say "footprints" consistently throughout the article
    • Corrected in the lead
  • Also noted with the peripheral walls of the Shwezigon Pagoda is a stone pillar What is "also noted with"? Where exactly is the pillar?
    • Corrected
Images
  • Looks like there are too many images. I think the images of Thagyamin and "exterior decorations" (it is similar to the infobox image) can be omitted.
    • Deleted

That should be it. Cheers, Sainsf (talk · contribs) 14:03, 30 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

  • Sainsf I was wondering why you stopped reviewing my articles after Puri and the Upanishads. Thank you very much for this review. Your recent GA articles on cheetah and caracal are very nice and both are now lead DYKs. Congrats. I have complied to all your review points as mentioned above. Will be glad to comply to more comments.Nvvchar. 13:34, 30 May 2016 (UTC)Reply
  • No, don't feel I ignored your nominations. Rather they were taken before I could review them, which I would have immensely rejoiced in. I see you have new noms out there, I will try to pick them up soon :) And I must congratulate you on your exceptional achievement – 1,500 DYKs is historic! As I said on your talk page, and would love to repeat here, a grand salute to you! You are the pride of us Indian Wikipedians! Sainsf (talk · contribs) 13:44, 30 May 2016 (UTC)::Reply
  • Thanks, Sainsf for your compliments on my achieving the 1500 DYK mark. I missed your posting on my user page. Sorry about it. I have complied to all your review observations. Pl see if there are any more left outs.Nvvchar. 15:21, 30 May 2016 (UTC)Reply

Splendid! Promoted. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 15:38, 30 May 2016 (UTC)Reply