Talk:Shut Down (Blackpink song)/GA1

Latest comment: 1 year ago by MPGuy2824 in topic GA Review

GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.


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Reviewer: MPGuy2824 (talk · contribs) 02:57, 15 August 2023 (UTC)Reply


I'll review this within a week. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 02:57, 15 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Am putting the review on hold until the close paraphrasing can be explained. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 09:49, 15 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Drive-by comment (as backlog drive coord checking from the drive page): it looks like that site is copying from Wikipedia, rather than the other way around. The background section on our part was written before the release of the song (checking with mw:Who Wrote That?), while that article went up the day of the song's release. The structure is also a dead giveaway of Wikipedia mirrors, given it exactly mimics our article's structure. Their other articles also look to be Wikipedia mirrors. Vaticidalprophet 10:14, 15 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Ok, thanks. Continuing the review then. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 10:19, 15 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Obviously this has taken longer than a week, but since it is my first GA review, I wanted to be extra thorough. In any case, i think we are in the final stages of this. Let's get it done. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 09:30, 25 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

General Notes

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  1. There are a lot of CS1 errors in the refs. Please fix them.
  2. If the single has an image of its own, it should be added to the infobox. Otherwise an image of the group, just under the infobox might be good.
  3. There is a quite a bit of jargon in the article, which either should be explained, wikilinked or replaced. e.g. drippy, clap back. -MPGuy2824 (talk)
@MPGuy2824 Hi, there weren't a lot of CS1 errors, only two of which I fixed.
I also fixed the jargon you've mentioned, and lastly, there's no official cover of the single.

I'm not sure of what you meant by "Otherwise an image of the group, just under the infobox might be good." Do you mean to add the image straight way to the lead section? Lililolol (talk) 12:35, 15 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

I meant an image of the members of the group just after the infobox. But, i'll check tomorrow to see how it is done for other GA/FA song pages. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 12:38, 15 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
If there was an official image for the single, you could have added it to the infobox. Adding an image of the members of the group after the infobox isn't there in all GA page, so its up to you. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 07:04, 22 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Follow the instructions at Category:CS1 maint: url-status if you want to see the CS1 warnings. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 11:02, 16 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Text

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Background
  • The second and third sentences are quotes from the agency about the album's lead single, i.e. not this song. Can be removed, in my opinion.
  • promotional posters of each of the members were released - change to "promotional posters of the song featuring each of the members were released". -MPGuy2824 (talk) 10:56, 16 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
    @MPGuy2824
    • Actually, the agency's quotes are about this song, the lead single
    • Done
    Lililolol (talk) 19:40, 21 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
    Actually, the agency's quotes are about this song, the lead single. According to Born Pink#Track listing, the first song on the album is Pink Venom. This is also supported by the reference. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 06:27, 22 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
    @MPGuy2824 The source called this song the second single, as you can see in the article that reported the agency quotes Lililolol (talk) 13:59, 23 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Composition
Commercial performance
  • The group also became the fourth act to debut atop the Global 200, Global Excl. U.S. and Billboard 200 charts simultaneously with "Shut Down" and its parent album Born Pink, joining BTS, Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift as the only acts to achieve this feat. This is quite clunky. Maybe split it into smaller chunks.
  • With this, Blackpink became the first girl group to have multiple top tens and tied Psy for the second-most top tens by a Korean act, and also became the first Korean act to have a non-compilation album yield multiple top tens on the chart. Change to "With this, Blackpink became the first girl group to have multiple top tens, and tied with Psy for the second-most top tens by a Korean act. They also became the first Korean act to have a non-compilation album yield multiple top tens on the chart." I split it into two sentences and changed "tied Psy" to "tied with Psy". -MPGuy2824 (talk) 04:24, 17 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
    • Idk, any suggestions?
    • Done
    Lililolol (talk) 19:47, 21 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
    See if "The group also became the fourth act to debut atop the Global 200, Global Excl. U.S. and Billboard 200 charts simultaneously with "Shut Down" and its parent album, Born Pink. BTS, Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift are the only other acts that have achieved this feat." works for you. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 06:57, 22 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
    Done Lililolol (talk) 13:56, 23 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Music video
Dance performance video
Accolades
Live performances and promotion
  • First sentence - needs commas. Replace with "On September 16, 2022, the group held a livestream on their official YouTube channel, one hour before the release of Born Pink, on a large stage themed after the concept of "Shut Down"."
  • On September 19, 2022 - The year isn't necessary.
  • first time on a domestic music program - Replace "domestic" with "Korean" or "South Korean".
  • Blackpink's Born Pink World Tour starting in October 2022. replace with "Blackpink's Born Pink World Tour, which started in October 2022.
  • as the headlining act - pluralize "act".
  • The song was used by the La Poem, that were teammate by Yoo Se-yoon in the South Korean reality show Webtoon Singer, which featured K-pop artists' performances combining webtoons with extended reality technology in The God of High School. Too complex. I don't even understand what's meant to be conveyed.
  • The series premiered on streaming service TVING on February 17, 2023[61] and released in the 5th episodes on March 17, 2023. Probably not needed if it is talking about the "God of High School" series. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 07:26, 22 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
    • Done
    • Done
    • Done
    • Done
    • How?
    • Done; I rewrite it
    • Done; unnecessary details, so I removed them
    Lililolol (talk) 13:50, 23 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
    Pluralizing act: Blackpink performed "Shut Down" during their sets as the headlining act of the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, California and BST Hyde Park in London. Try 'Blackpink performed "Shut Down" during their headlining sets at the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio, California, and BST Hyde Park in London.'-MPGuy2824 (talk) 08:03, 24 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
    Done Lililolol (talk) 11:37, 24 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
Lead section

References

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Am checking a few at random, not all:

I fixed the links you mentioned. The rest are working fine, but just a few fall under "Indeterminate" which seems good to me. Lililolol (talk) 17:13, 27 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
[3] says: "Weibo does not exist or has no permission to view it!", in Chinese, which i assume means a 404. Please fix. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 03:23, 28 August 2023 (UTC)Reply
I tried to search for other references for this, but was unsuccessful. I've removed this row from the table completely. Feel free to re-add the row once you find a reliable reference. -MPGuy2824 (talk) 03:39, 28 August 2023 (UTC)Reply

Review template

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GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar):   b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section):   b (inline citations to reliable sources):   c (OR):   d (copyvio and plagiarism):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):   b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):   b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:  
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.