Talk:Series of tubes/GA1

See also: Talk page from 09:44, 7 February 2007

Failed GA

While this article has some promise, there are some major improvements that need to be made before it qualifies for GA status:

• At the moment the lead doesn't adequately summarize the content of the article. It shouldn't just give the background to the speech, but offer a short summation of the article as a whole.
• The first section of the article proper should offer the background about Stevens' speech.
• The "Daily Show" section is very listy: one-sentence paragraphs are bad prose style. This section needs to be written in a more connected way.
• The "Gears of War" section is unintelligble to anyone who doesn't know the game. What is this achievement, and what does it have in common with the subject of the article besides the name?
• This isn't strictly speaking required, but I'd like to see the blog entries in the citations referenced a little better, with their titles listed rather than just "Slashdot's take" and so on. You might want to look at WP:CITET for an idea of how to cite web sources.

Please feel free to resubmit when these issues have been fixed. MLilburne 09:44, 7 February 2007 (UTC)