Talk:School District 53 Okanagan Similkameen/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hahc21 (talk · contribs) 20:55, 4 November 2012 (UTC)Reply

Review

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Prose comments

Resolved comments
*On the Lead
  • "five of which are elementary, three of which are" The second usage of "of which" is redundant.
  • In my opinion, the third paragraph is too detailed for the lead, why dont you shorten it and merge it with the second?
  • On Schools
  • Comment #1 on lead is the same here.
  • "in parts of the southern Okanagan and lower Similkameen regions.". "In parts of" sound weird. Try to use a better wording for it. [you may like to use "Inside"]
  • "part of the Okanagan maintain". "part of the Okanagan region maintain..."
  • "consist of pipels from Grade 8 to 12". I guess you may wanted to say "pupils"?
  • On Production
  • "at schools with district 53" I guess it's "within"?
  • I don't understand completely the first sentence on the second paragraph. I mean, i think you need to expand a bit about from where trhat deffinition comes and so.
  • Also, why the policy was amended? could you add a bit about it?
Done. TBrandley 21:11, 4 November 2012 (UTC)Reply
  • I have a little issue with the last sentence from the second paragraph: From what I read, it seems a bit useless or written more like an advert than an encyclopedic statement. Affirmations such as "recognize the importance of" gives me that feeling.
GA review
(see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose):  
    b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):  
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references):  
    b (citations to reliable sources):  
    c (OR):  
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects):  
    b (focused):  
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:  
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:  
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales):  
    b (appropriate use with suitable captions):  

Overall:
Pass/Fail:  

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ΛΧΣ21 21:23, 4 November 2012 (UTC)Reply