Talk:School District 53 Okanagan Similkameen/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Hahc21 (talk · contribs) 20:55, 4 November 2012 (UTC)

Review

Prose comments

Resolved comments

*On the Lead "five of which are elementary, three of which are" The second usage of "of which" is redundant. Done. TBrandley 21:07, 4 November 2012 (UTC) In my opinion, the third paragraph is too detailed for the lead, why dont you shorten it and merge it with the second? Done. TBrandley 21:07, 4 November 2012 (UTC) On Schools Comment #1 on lead is the same here. Done. TBrandley 21:07, 4 November 2012 (UTC) "in parts of the southern Okanagan and lower Similkameen regions.". "In parts of" sound weird. Try to use a better wording for it. [you may like to use "Inside"] Done. TBrandley 21:07, 4 November 2012 (UTC) "part of the Okanagan maintain". "part of the Okanagan region maintain..." Done. TBrandley 21:07, 4 November 2012 (UTC) "consist of pipels from Grade 8 to 12". I guess you may wanted to say "pupils"? Done. TBrandley 21:07, 4 November 2012 (UTC) On Production "at schools with district 53" I guess it's "within"? Done. TBrandley 21:07, 4 November 2012 (UTC) I don't understand completely the first sentence on the second paragraph. I mean, i think you need to expand a bit about from where trhat deffinition comes and so. Also, why the policy was amended? could you add a bit about it? Done. TBrandley 21:11, 4 November 2012 (UTC) I have a little issue with the last sentence from the second paragraph: From what I read, it seems a bit useless or written more like an advert than an encyclopedic statement. Affirmations such as "recognize the importance of" gives me that feeling. Done per above issue. TBrandley 21:11, 4 November 2012 (UTC) Thanks for the review! I've addressed all of the concerns listed. TBrandley 21:11, 4 November 2012 (UTC)

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
It is reasonably well written. a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists): It is factually accurate and verifiable. a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): It is broad in its coverage. a (major aspects): b (focused): It follows the neutral point of view policy. Fair representation without bias: It is stable. No edit wars, etc.: It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate. a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall: Pass/Fail:
· · ·

— ΛΧΣ21™ 21:23, 4 November 2012 (UTC)