Talk:San Francisco Bay Area Street Art

Latest comment: 7 years ago by CATRHET130 in topic [Untitled]

[Untitled] edit

Try to make your introduction a full summary of everything you cover in your article. If you discuss legal issues for example, include a note of it in your introduction.Afvasquez (talk) 21:37, 18 November 2016 (UTC)Reply

"San Francisco Bay Area Street Art is any art created in a public place, it is often created with the intention of being outside the realm of widely accepted art ."

Bold the topic, it could make it visually easier to identify it that way. Afvasquez (talk) 21:30, 18 November 2016 (UTC) "Street art in San Francisco is considered controversial because it vandalizes public spaces, while also providing art that people like to look at."Reply

Consider saying who considers it to have this effect Afvasquez (talk) 21:30, 18 November 2016 (UTC)Reply

"On one hand the art that created vandalizes public property but on the other hand it is creating something for tourists and people in general to look at in their daily lives. Another main controversy is that most street artists do not get the punishment that they deserve by California law for vandalizing public property."

Try to get away from using persuasive language like "deserves", and persuasive tone, maybe word "on one hand" differently Afvasquez (talk) 21:32, 18 November 2016 (UTC)Reply

"Graffiti began at this time as a tag." Define tag for readers who don't know what it is. Afvasquez (talk) 21:49, 18 November 2016 (UTC) "Artists" In you Artists section, you may want to mention the Women's murals you discussed in your introduction. Afvasquez (talk) 21:35, 18 November 2016 (UTC)Reply


You may want to add more detail in you Movements and Issues Between Artists Section. Afvasquez (talk) 21:39, 18 November 2016 (UTC)Reply

"These new forms of regulating graffiti will reduce the amount of graffiti in this area and catch the artists committing these crimes."

You can say that the plan of these policies are to "___" because the original sounds a little like a prediction. Afvasquez (talk) 21:42, 18 November 2016 (UTC)Reply

Table of Contents: You should title Between Artists Issues, Issues Between Artists instead to provide more clarity & define the acronyms you titled one of your sections after for readers who might not know what that is at first glance of the Table of Contents. Afvasquez (talk) 21:49, 18 November 2016 (UTC)Reply


Bold topic in first sentence, otherwise the lead section is good.

TOC is well organized, good use of sub sections.

Don't link the subheading for The Mission School. Link it when you state it in the paragraph.

Good job citing and your sections are clear and informative. More content could be added however for movements and between artists, or just in general. CATRHET130 (talk) 22:03, 18 November 2016 (UTC)Reply