Talk:Samuel Iling-Junior/GA1
GA Review
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Reviewer: Oltrepier (talk · contribs) 16:13, 11 January 2023 (UTC)
I'm taking over this review: this is my first one, and I hope I'll do everything right. Still, the article already looks in good shape, so I'm not too worried. Let's take a closer look! Oltrepier (talk) 16:13, 11 January 2023 (UTC)
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.===Comments===
Right, here are my suggestions!
– First, I think the leading phrase could be re-structured a bit, like this:
"A youth product of Chelsea and Juventus, Iling-Junior made his debut for Juventus U23 in the 2021–22 season, while reaching the UEFA Youth League semi-finals with the club's under-19 squad. He was then promoted to the first team, having made his debut in December 2022. [Enter] Iling-Junior has represented England at various youth international levels, having won a UEFA European Under-19 Championship in 2022."
Done
– According to this interview, he started playing football at the age of four: plus, he decided to join Juventus after rejecting a scholarship deal, which is commonly offered to under-18 players by professional clubs in the UK. You can add that, too, if you'd like to.
- Done
I also think it would be clearer to write "attracting the interest from various high-profile European clubs", without specifying too much.
Not done, then they could put the [by whom?] template.
– "Triennial" should be replaced with "three-year", in my opinion.
- Done, it's just my passion for English words coming from Latin or Greek.
– The Guardian's mention might fit more in the "Style of play" section, or even as the last line of the page's introduction.
- Not done, it does not at all! I forgot to say this at Valentin Carboni.
– The Mulazzi mention isn't so necessary in that context, to be honest.
- Not done, not so unncessary either.
– I don't know if the phrase starting with "Prior to his first-team debut [...]" is really necessary, either: that data is already available through the statistics, and adding another reminder could be too redundant and confusing.
- Not done, I've added the info after his first-team promotion, not unnecessary.
– "with Juventus trailing 4–1" is a surplus, as well: I would just add "as Juventus eventually faced a 4–3 loss" at the end of the following phrase.
- Not done, the fact he was about to save Allegri's ass is notable.
– Was it a "blunt trauma" or a "sprain trauma"? Just to clarify.
- Done, sprain, clarified.
– "On 19 December, Iling-Junior renewed his contract with Juventus until 2025 and was subsequently promoted to the first team."
- Done
– The Bonatti mention doesn't look so useful to me...
- Not done, style of play also talks on how coaches exploited him.
– Finally, here are some more sources you might add to the page (aside of the one I already included): The official transfer report by Juventus; one more source about the Youth League achievements; a match report for his first-team debut against Empoli; one for his Champions League debut.
Well, that's all for now. Let me know what do you think about it! Oltrepier (talk) 16:13, 11 January 2023 (UTC)
- Oltrepier, Done. Dr Salvus 00:11, 12 January 2023 (UTC)
- @Dr Salvus Alright, I just took some time to make a few more adjustments by myself, but thank you for your fixes.
- The only issue I've got left with the article is that it could be even more focused: that's why I originally pointed out at some of your "fringe" mentions, like the one about Mulazzi, because I thought they would be kind of a distraction from the main topic (which is, of course, the career of Iling-Junior himself). Still, the rest looks pretty fine to me.
- However, since it's my first review and I want to make sure I haven't missed anything, I think I could use a second opinion. An extra pair of eyes always helps... Oltrepier (talk) 14:09, 12 January 2023 (UTC)