Talk:Sally Kellerman/GA1

Latest comment: 10 years ago by The Rambling Man in topic GA Review

GA Review edit

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 12:54, 19 March 2014 (UTC)Reply

Comments

  • Lead is far too short, see WP:LEAD to see what's expected, a summary of the whole article, not just a sprinkling of words to say she was an actress in MASH.
  • Four WP:DAB links need fixing.
  • "for an Oscar for" Oscar is non-encyclopedic.
  • "Kellerman, 1965" is not an adequate image caption.
  • "Sally Claire Kellerman was born in " no need for the full name, nor the bold.
  • "She attended Hollywood High School, but, after a year at" comma overdose.
  • "Within a year, she performed in a production.." new para so typically, as a minimum, "... Kellerman performed..."
  • "continued to work with Altman in Brewster McCloud " you mean she worked with him again in another production?
  • "guarian" typo.
  • "Welcome to LA." -> "Welcome to L.A."
  • "in the The Player. " fix.
  • "of Harper's Bazaar" should be in italics.
  • "Other notable work in the 1970's can be seen in Dick Richards' Rafferty and the Gold Dust Twins (1975)." 1970s, and who says this?

Stopping the review here. Plenty to do, suggest a copyedit, perhaps WP:LOCE? Feels like this is a long way from GA standard I'm afraid. Failing it for the time being. The Rambling Man (talk) 21:52, 22 March 2014 (UTC)Reply